a few of my favorite things

casualties

2012-02-16T17:04:00.000-05:00

You may remember me posting about Anna's buddies, Ella the frog and Bizzie the Lizard back in November.

If you live in Louisville and have spent any amount of time with us, you've probably seen Anna clutching one or both of them. They're pretty inseparable.

Today was a sad day. Ella lost a foot and her leg busted open....in Owen's mouth incoincidentally. Those little white beads you see in the photo came spilling out into his mouth! Needless to say, it's time to say goodbye. We had a good run, Ella. Thanks for the memories!

And as you can see, Bizzie is literally on her last leg as well... Stay strong!!

waiting for Lucie

2012-02-12T19:49:00.001-05:00

One of my very best friends, Curry, is due with her little girl, Lucie, any day now. She's actually due to make her appearance in 9 days, but I'm hoping that she isn't as stubborn as her big brother and make her poor mama wait an extra 10 days! One of the perks of having me as a friend is that you get all of the crochet goodness you could ever want (or probably ask for). These are some things I made for baby Lucie. Now, come on out and get 'em, girl!!
Little boots to keep those tooties warm.

I'm hopeful that Lucie will not look as creepy my babydoll model :) Little lamb pattern courtesy of Alli Hyer over at Allicrafts.

V-stitch checkered baby afghan.

you only turn 3 once

2012-02-08T15:04:00.000-05:00

Forgot I had these pics on my camera and wanted to put them up to remember Anna's 3rd birthday last week. Earlier in the week, Nana drove down for a visit. Anna loves Curious George right now, so she was super excited about the fantastic cupcake cake that Nana brought. How cute is that??

Nana also brought some fun gifts for the birthday girl - which Owen was pretty excited about too.

Enjoying her birthday cake.

Owen was eager to get in on the cake action too.

Nana, cake, and presents are good, but what really made her big day special was going on an "adventure" with daddy. Kevin took her to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D! She's never been to a movie before and I wasn't sure how she'd do, but Kevin is more adventurous than I am. He talked it up with her for three days. He just kept telling her that they were going to go on a special adventure, just the two of them, and they'd get to eat popcorn and chocolate :) When I woke her up on her birthday the first thing she said was, "I go on an a'venture today with daddy! No mommy and no Owen. Just Anna and daddy." So cute. Here they are before they went out. What a handsome husband I have. And seriously, best dad ever.

And to my surprise, she did SO well. She made it through the entire movie! It probably didn't hurt that she ate a giant bucket of popcorn ;) When Kevin called me to tell me how it went, he said about four time that she'd had a LOT of popcorn. Hey, you only turn 3 once, right??

Happy Birthday, Jackie :)

2012-02-04T13:44:00.001-05:00

Dear Jackie, I wish I could squeeze you like this today to let you know how glad I am that you were born :) You have been such a blessing in my life. I've learned so much from you and continue to as the Lord grows you and refines you. Thank you for the way you love the Lord, the way you love your husband, the way you love your church, and of course - the way you love to bake! Thank you for sharing all of these loves with me and so many others. You give so much of yourself to us- through your blog, through your job, and as a friend. I hope that you know how much this means. On a journey with many ups and downs, I pray that today is one full of joy for you. I love you, friend.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Anna!

2012-02-02T05:00:00.002-05:00

Sweet Anna turns 3 today. It's what every parent says on every birthday their child celebrates but it's true - I can hardly believe it!

Here's a brief Anna update.
Favorites: friends Afton, Joseph, Ella, Sally, and Benjamin (those are just the ones she talks about :). macaroni and cheese. Curious George. painting. drawing. play doh. helping in the kitchen. jumping in "tuddles". pancakes and sausage. squinkies. chocolate chips. playing dress up in Mimi's room (the guest room/playroom upstairs). singing. Tangled and Robin Hood (the old school cartoon with the animals - love that!). grilled cheese and tomato soup. Team Umizoomi. Peppa Pig. going to church. visits from Mimi, Pop, and Nana. playing with her best buddy, Daddy.

dislikes: potty training (proving to be a very slow process for all of us). any drink but water. vegetables. having her hair brushed. tubby time - after another unfortunate poop in the tub incident she's resorted to taking showers with the assistance of mommy outside the door! wearing clothes to bed. sharing her favorite person (daddy) with Owen.

Anna, we love you so much. We love your spirit and we love the amazing person that the Lord is continuing to grow you into. It is a privilege to be your parents. Just yesterday, you were like this...

and now.....

grace upon grace

2012-01-22T18:45:00.002-05:00

²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail. ²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23

Amen. Today was such a great day, in such stark contrast to yesterday. Thanks, Jesus, for that. Before waking this morning, I was dreaming that I was having a migraine. I've been having a lot lately (migraines, that is) and a few weeks back I was having a similar dream and woke up to a splitting headache. Pretty strange. So, I was afraid to open my eyes this morning. When I finally did, I was frustrated to find that I was indeed having a pre-migraine aura (I'm sorry for you if you know what I'm talking about. google if you don't). The babies weren't up yet, so I closed my eyes and started "casting my anxieties on the Lord". How in the world was I going to manage the kids by myself with Kevin at church all morning while I had a pounding migraine?? I prayed that the Lord would take it away or at the very least make it a manageable headache.

When Owen started stirring twenty minutes later, I opened my eyes to find that my aura was gone - and my headache never came! If you are a migraine sufferer you will praise the Lord with me all the more - thank you, Jesus!! And it made me realize that even though yesterday (and the rest of the week) was pretty rotten, it would have been a million times worse if I'd had a migraine on any one of those days, but I didn't. It hadn't occurred to me to thank him for that. Perhaps he gave me that false alarm this morning to remind me? I'm listening. Thank you.

Owen was still within 24 hours of having a fever so he wasn't clear to be in the childcare at church this morning, but Anna really wanted to go play with her friends (and I thought it'd be a good idea for everyone to get out of the house) so I took her in and then took Owen to run a few errands. Is that sketchy? She had one parent in the building, right? I was so incredibly encouraged by the few people that I saw at church on my way in and out who stopped me to tell me that they'd read my post last night. They sincerely wanted to know how I was doing, or to share a similar experience, or to invite me over, or just tell me to keep my chin up. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Grace upon grace.

I felt like the Lord just showered me with love today and filled my cup. It's SO true - Because of his love WE ARE NOT CONSUMED. Today is a new day and I'm thankful for that.

And because you've probably been missing pics of my little monkeys here's one of Owen now that he's in better spirits. Thanks, Jesus, for that too :)

anxious

2012-01-21T22:10:00.005-05:00

It's been a really long week. Kevin had a very meeting heavy week that took him out of the house from 6am to 11pm on two different days. The rest of his week wasn't much better. Usually, I can survive without his evening reprieve if I schedule enough playdates and other events to keep me busy. Unfortunatley, Owen got some kind of bug midweek so I had to cancel most of my outings. He hasn't been sleeping well, which in turn has me exhausted and he's been super fussy, which has really been wearing on my nerves. All of that coupled with not getting out to interact with people has definitely been taking its toll on me. I have this constant feeling of anxiousness. I guess I'd classify myself as fragile....maybe a little crazy.

Case in point. As I was teetering on the brink of sanity while washing the dishes today, I decided it might be helpful if I just talked to another adult (no offense Anna), so I called Curry. I was so glad she answered the phone and attempted a chipper greeting. Her response, "How are you?"{insert skeptic tone} lead me to believe that I had fallen short. My voice cracked as I answered, "O..kay.." {why did she have to ask such a hard question?} and then I started totally laugh crying. Yes. Open the flood gates. "Can you give me a minute. I just need to cry this out." "Sure, go ahead. haha." That's what friends are for. I am a total lunatic and I am so lucky to have this woman in my life. I digress.

Last week I listened to a Keller sermon about Psalm 1 called Meditation. In the end as he talks about the practice of meditation he suggests taking a single passage of scripture, something really small, and focusing on it throughout the day. "Talk to your soul about it and listen for the Lord to speak." I've really been trying to practice that and this morning the passage that I chose to meditate on for today was 1 Peter 5:7-8. Here's the first part:

7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

This takes practice. And obviously it didn't make me all still and at peace because I ended my day weeping on the phone to my best friend, but sanctification is a process, eh, and I'm not sure that was entirely the point of the passage anyway-peace, that is. Anyway, all day I kept telling Him that I was anxious. I told him I felt like I was going to lose my mind because this baby would NOT stop crying. I told him, "Lord, I know Owen is sick and I pray that instead of making me frustrated, you'll give me patience and compassion." I told him that I was stressed about what a poor housekeeper I was. I told him that I felt like a horrible mom because I was feeling anxious. I felt like a bad wife because I was anxious. I was anxious about being anxious. And so on and so on. In a spiral. A friend of mine once described it as getting stuck in your own head.

Here's the next part of that passage:

8 be sober minded and watchful. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Kevin and I have had weeks like this before. Months probably. This week it was the perfect storm of him being over-scheduled and me being under-scheduled and both of us being overwhelmed. Our circumstances lead both of us to exhaustion, stress, and poor communication. And what I realized was that in our weakness, we had become easy prey for the enemy who is real and who is actively trying to gain a foothold in our lives. This is a theme that I've written about a number of times in the past and I'm sure the Lord will continue to refine me and teach me about. Pray with me for protection for our family against attacks from the enemy and for health, peace, and rest.

Pray that I won't just stop at casting my anxieties on him, but that I will cling to the truth that he truly DOES care for me. Really. I'll be honest, it's a lot easier for me to believe it right now, sitting in my quiet house, kids tucked in their beds, limited distractions, another day done, than it might be tomorrow. Pray with me that the devil will not use exhaustion or illness or meetings or whatever else it is to draw us away from the truth that He DOES care for us. If His life, death, and resurrection don't prove that, I'm not sure what could.

relational energy well spent

2012-01-18T13:21:00.000-05:00

Ever since we moved here I've been setting up 3-4 play dates a week in an effort to meet new people, make new friends, and maintain my sanity by getting out of the house with the kiddos. I've mentioned numerous times how wonderful it's been getting to know people and they continue to impress :) Here's a scenario I come across fairly regularly and have recently felt convicted of and have comes to terms with.

I'm chatting with someone. Im really enjoying their company. I'm thinking, "Yeah! This person could really be my friend!" Then, she casually mentions that she's moving to (insert city) to plant a church in (insert months) and my fantasy friendship comes screeching to a halt. I instinctively cross her name off of the potential friend list in my mind because, lets be honest, it's not really worth the effort if she's going to be gone in six months, right?? But, then I started thinking - when is it worth it? I suddenly felt like such a consumer.

Now, we do have to be wise in the way we spend our time. And we should seek out friends that point us toward Christ and fill our cup so to speak. Our church is big and I could spend every day of the week with a different person and end up with relationships a mile wide and an inch deep that would be of no benefit to the kingdom. That's not what I'm supporting. I'm just saying that we shouldn't just write off relationships because people aren't in our 10 year plan and because they appear to offer no immediate benefit to us and it might hurt when they move. We should leave room for the Lord to work. He has placed so many surprising people in my life that I learned amazing things from that I never saw coming. And I'm sure that he used me to teach others in similar ways.

Many people that we meet here in Louisvile came to attend seminary at Southern with hopes to move on and and plant a church or work at a church in the future. It's part of their journey. The difference for them and for me when I was in Middletown is that they know that they probably won't be staying here permanently. When we planted The Oaks in Middletown, we thought we'd be there forever. I'm glad that I didn't know that Middletown wasn't permanent. I think that it would have inhibited me from fully giving myself to people. Our time in Middletown wasn't just a pit stop on our way to Louisville. It was part of our journey that the Lord sovereignly orchestrated. I shudder to think of all of the amazing relationships that I would have missed out on, all the lessons I wouldn't have learned, the conversations I wouldn't have had, if I had known I was moving and decided not to invest the relational capital. I imagine that the seminary lifestyle could be a lonely one where people live detached lives because they know that this is only a season. I pray that it's not and I know that I, personally, will not use that excuse not to get to know you in the future.

Happy Anniversary

2012-01-17T05:00:00.003-05:00

Sometimes Anna will ask Kevin or I if she's our best friend. We're always sure to clarify that she's our best buddy. Daddy is mommy's best friend and vice versa. Our marriage was pretty healthy before, but our move to Louisville has only proven to strengthen it more and has grown us deeper. I love going to bed next to this man, and waking up next to him. I am honored to be his wife and blessed to have him as husband. Eight years seems like a long time but at the same time not long at all. I never imagined we'd be here, and I can't wait to see where the Lord takes us together.

Unfortunately, he has a super busy work day today. He left the house at 5:45am and he's going to be out til after 10pm(crazy, right?!?) Pray for your pastor today, people :) So, we won't get to celebrate our anniversary today:( My parents were in town this past weekend, though, and they treated us to a delicious dinner at Doc Crowe's in honor of our big day. Thanks, mom and dad! Kevin and I do have something special planned that we both enjoy. We're going to start a Wes Anderson movie marathon tomorrow night! Now, we just have to decided which one to watch first. hmmmm.

I love you, Kevin. Happy 8th Anniversary!

life these days

2012-01-16T14:03:00.000-05:00

I was telling someone the other day that I'm moving into my most favorite stage of parenting yet. I think I'm getting past management and survival and I'm really enjoying my kids. That might sound really bad, but it's just the truth. I have just been loving them these days. I mean, really, really loving them. Like, I just stop and look at them and squeeze them and tell them how much I love them and how great they are. Anna has such an imagination and says the funniest things and has such spirit. She's always pretending and singing with her toys and wants to be such a helper. Owen has starting singing a lot too which is really cute. He isn't walking yet, but he's real close. He took a few steps the other day with Kevin (which I totally missed!) and he's standing on his own.

The next few videos are pretty typical of our kids these days. They're kind of lengthy and not very exciting. If you watch them in full, you're either really bored or really can't get enough of our kids :)

snow day

2012-01-12T20:09:00.000-05:00

Kevin got up at 5am today to go teach at Sojourn's Pastor School. While he was out working hard, we got our first real snow in Louisville. Anna watched it all day, exclaiming how beautiful it was, while persistently asking me if and when she could go outside to play. She was SO excited when Kevin got home late in the afternoon, I thought she was going to tackle him at the door. Even though he'd had a really long day and was surely exhausted, he told her he'd take her out once she got her snow gear on. Best daddy ever. I thought she had a hand-me-down snow suit, but I guess not. We squeezed her into her 12month snow pants (she's going to be THREE in a few weeks) and she wore this year's coat and rain boots. It got the job done. She LOVED it.

Of course, playing with her best friend was the best part.

Owen cried at the door when they went out until I dug out his snowsuit - which actually WAS a hand-me-down :) He loved it almost as much as Anna. His little face was SO red by the time they came in, but he was happy as a clam.

All of my favorite people.

the world seems bigger

2012-01-09T08:00:00.002-05:00

I went away to college at Miami University in the fall of 1999. Seems like a million years ago. One other girl from my high school went there. She was three years older and I knew nothing more about her than her name. So, I was pretty much alone. I graduated with 140 people and knew just about everyone in my school. Going away to college with thousands of strangers was an adjustment. I remember that I learned so much about geography (particularly Ohio) that first year away. I rarely met people that were from near my hometown. It was a real treat when I did. You know, those "small world" moments? My world seemed to get exponentially bigger that year, as I learned about all of these places that my new friends came from that I'd never even considered before. Nothing glamorous or exotic. Just places I knew nothing about, like Akron :) haha.

Moving to Louisville has given me a bit of deja vu. The world suddenly seems so much bigger. I noticed this especially with the holidays. My new friends were spread across the country from California to Alabama to Connecticut and beyond, celebrating Christmas with their relatives back "home". When we were in Middletown, I pretty much assumed that anyone I met was from the area. There were a few exceptions, mostly college students or folks that stayed around after college, but a majority grew up within a 40 minute drive to Middletown. Here, on the other hand, I pretty much assume that people aren't from Louisville. Many are seminary students at Southern or were at some point and ended up sticking around. Others came for a job and some just liked the city. It's really interesting to hear about all of the different places that people grew up and what college they went to. This is the first time that I've had to clarify that I went to Miami of Ohio since I graduated from high school. Kind of crazy.

It still feels strange to walk into church every Sunday and to know only a hand full of people when I'm used to knowing a majority of the room. I'm sure that lots of people have no idea that I'm married to the guy up front. That's weird. Being surrounded by so many strangers, definitely makes the world seem bigger. I thought it would be harder, but it's been so fun getting to know people and I'm especially grateful for all of the women who have invited me over and made an effort to get to know me.

And aside from the people, the city of Louisville itself makes the world seem bigger. There are so many unique restaurants with ethnic cuisine that we're excited to try out. There's also the traffic that is a good reminder that we live in a much larger city, but we're getting used to it :) I'm learning my way around and figuring out the highways. People call them by name instead of number, which took some getting used to, but I think we're catching on. We're excited to continue learning about Louisville and digging in deeper with people. I'm sure it won't seem so big when we look back down the road :)

read this: "Don't Carpe Diem"

2012-01-08T14:33:00.002-05:00

Had this article (from Momastery) recommended to me about 4 times before I finally sat down and read it today. It produced the same reaction in me that I had when reading, "Loving The Little Years." The entire time I felt myself nodding along, thinking, "Yes! Exactly! Thank You!"

Here an excerpt. Helpful and encouraging for those with AND without kiddos. I love the conclusion so make sure to check out the full article!

"Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.

I know that this message is right and good. But as 2011 closes, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn’t work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life – while I’m raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I’m not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I’m doing something wrong.

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I’ve heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they’ve heard there’s magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it’s hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up."

To whet your APPetite

2012-01-07T20:35:00.000-05:00

In case you missed the other times I mentioned (er, gushed) about it, my amazing husband bought me an iPad for my birthday/Christmas/anniversary present. It's amazing. I use it so much - almost as much as Anna ;) We've been using the iPad as incentive for Anna to potty train and it's been great! Shes only allowed to play on it when Owen is sleeping or if she's sitting on the potty. Works like a charm :)

I found a great list of educational apps for preschoolers at a blog I follow, which I'd highly recommend checking out. I'll go ahead and share a few more of our favorites for those interested.
Shape Puzzle - probably Anna's favorite right now. Drag and drop pieces.

Super Why - good alphabet practice, letter tracing, and she really likes the stickers page

Team Umizoomi Math: Zoom into Numbers. Great for counting and number identification.

Talking Tom - Curry introduced my kiddos to this one. No educational value, just plain entertaining. Owen loves it too :) The cat repeats what you say in a funny voice.

First Words - drag and drop letters. Good for phonics practice and letter identification.

And the big kids in our house recommend:

Logos - bible software. I also downloaded a reading plan that links to the text.

Pandora Radio- stream your favorite music

All Recipes - we upgraded our account and it's totally worth it. Easy to navigate and super helpful in the kitchen.

Zenbe Lists - I LOVE making lists and checking things off. Use this a lot to keep track of Yarn Republic orders as well as grocery lists and general to-dos.

pressing in

2012-01-06T10:32:00.003-05:00

A few weeks back I found myself in a bit of a funk. I'm blessed to have a wonderful husband who immediately noticed and started asking questions to identify what was going on. I didn't feel depressed and I wasn't exactly lonely, I'd been spending time with plenty of people. I mostly felt numb, but I couldn't really explain it.

After much reflection, I think I've identified the culprits. A perfect storm, really - an absence in the word + an absence of deep, intentionally intrusive relationships (aside from my husband, of course). I mentioned a few posts back, that my Bible was MIA. The truth is that it I probably went about two weeks without reading it over the holidays. That took its toll, resulting in a feeling of detachment and general ambivalence. That was amplified by the fact that I didn't have people in my life, really pressing in.

I should clarify, I have LOVED getting to know people here and haven't met a single person that I didn't enjoy spending time with. My time has in no way been filled with surface level conversation, but the reality is that building new friendships from the ground up requires a bit of work. That's all there is to it. There just isn't going to be the level of intimacy and authenticity that you get after spending years developing a relationship with someone. I knew that moving down here and tried to be realistic in my expectations. I gave myself 6-8 weeks to spend time with as many people as possible and in that time begin to identify people that I could really go deeper with.

I was pondering all of this while we were traveling for Christmas and came to the conclusion that it's time to press in. It doesn't matter how well I feel I know someone. I don't have to know where they grew or what college they went to in order to be intentionally intrusive. Having the common bond of Christ makes it possible to cut right past all of that to the most important thing of all. There were a few women that I felt I wanted to pursue being really intentional with and got excited about it. Yesterday, before I was even able to bring it up, one of them asked me if I might be interested in doing more of a formal accountability with her and another woman! Yes, please! God is so good and his timing is perfect. I also had two other really great conversations with other women that left me feeling encouraged, challenged, and filled. Thank you, Lord, for the ways you are continuing to teach me, change me, listen to me, and provide.

I pray that if you don't have these kinds of relationships that you'll take the initiative to seek them out. Get past your fears and push beyond the initial moments of awkwardness. Go deeper with the people you already spend time with. It really does matter and will change your life. Be intentional. Be vulnerable. Be authentic.

And it's also good to remember that I still have these lovely ladies on the other end of the phone who know me oh so well :) Praise God for that.

New hobbies

2012-01-05T15:14:00.000-05:00

Kevin and I are taking up new hobbies for the new year!

I got a sewing machine from my parents for Christmas. I'm really excited to learn how to use it. Crocheting will continue to be my main craft, but there are so many wonderful things that I could do with some basic sewing skills and a machine. Unfortunately, my new machine was too big to fit in the car (what with all of our other Christmas hoopla and travel gear), so it had to stay at my parents house for a few more weeks until they bring it down. That gives me time to do some research and start pinning potential projects :) Suggestions?

Kevin is really excited about learning how to cook. My pride was definitely hurt for a moment when he said that he'd like to take up the cooking duties. Was my cooking really so bad that he had to take on the meal preparation?? In short - yes - but that's not really what prompted the decision for him...he says, anyway ;) Such a good husband.

Louisville has introduced him to some really great food and he's excited to learn how to prepare some yummy dishes for us at home that cost less and are better for us than what we're currently eating. And his other hobbies (photography and mountain biking) aren't a ton of fun in the middle of winter. Of course, if you know Kevin at all you know that he doesn't mess around when it comes to tools of the trade. As a friend of ours says, "Daddy don't do entry level." haha. As part of his Christmas gift, he purchased new pots and pans, some new knives, a deluxe butcher block and a few other things to get started. The shipment arrived yesterday and he was so excited.

He made Southwestern Eggrolls for his first meal and they were delicious! I'm definitely looking forward to reaping the benefits of this hobby!

back in the game

2012-01-02T11:16:00.000-05:00

I love the Christmas season, but I'm generally ready for it to be over when January rolls around. I'm ready to reclaim my life from the chaos and busyness that comes with the decorating, parties, baking, and celebrating. This year was especially busy because my business was booming with Christmas orders and I was furiously crocheting just about every night. It was a blessing, but I'm ready for things to slow down and I'll prepare better next year.

I always find it a bit ironic that my spiritual health seems to take a hit during the Christmas season, which is supposed to be centered on Jesus. Even with the best intentions, the pace of life during the month of December so easily carries me away from the Word and my moments of solitude are few and far between. I was getting ready to sit down with my Bible this morning and I couldn't find it anywhere. Now, if that isn't a sign of the state of my life right now, I don't know what is! I did eventually find it as well as my copy of The Valley of Vision. I read some Psalms and then this passage from VoV. A great read for today. And as a side note - go out and get yourself a copy of this little book if you don't have it!

Shortcomings

O Living God,
I bless thee that I see the worst of my heart as well as the best of it,
that I can sorrow for those sins that carry me from thee,
that it is thy deep and dear mercy to threaten punishment so that I may return, pray, live.
My sin is to look on my faults and be discouraged,
or to look on my good and be puffed up.
I fall short of thy glory every day by spending hours unprofitably,
by thinking that the things I do are good,
when they are not done to thy end,
nor spring from the rules of thy Word.
My sin is to fear what never will be;
I forget to submit to they will, and fail to be quiet there.
But Scripture teaches me that they active will reveals a steadfast purpose on my behalf,
and this quiets my soul,
and makes me love thee.
Keep me always in the understanding that saints mourn more for sin than other men,
for when they see how great is thy wrath against sin,
and how Christ's death alone pacifies wrath,
that makes them mourn more.
Help me to see that although I am in the wilderness it is not all briars and barrenness.
I have bread from heaven, streams from the rock,
light by day, fire by night,
they dwelling place and thy mercy seat.
I am sometimes discouraged by the way,
but though winding and trying it is safe and short;
Death dismays me, but my great high priest stands in its waters,
and will open me a passage,
and beyond is a better country.
While I live let my life be exemplary,
When I die may my end be peace.

Amen

Christmas recap

2012-01-01T22:47:00.001-05:00

We celebrated Christmas day here in Louisville (ahem, some people have to work on the holidays ;) It was fun to spend the day with the kids and not have to worry about traveling that day. We headed to Zanesville on Monday evening to celebrate with my family and after a few days there we moved on to Cincinnati to celebrate with the Jamisons. It was fun visiting, but we were happy to get back home to Louisville and are looking forward the new year! Here's a photo recap of the holidays. You should be seeing more of me in the blogosphere now that I'm crawling out of the ball of yarn I've been buried under for the past few months!

Christmas morning...er afternoon (after church) in Louisville

My two handsome men

best buddies

You'll notice that Owen's tongue is out ALL the time. Seriously. hilarious.

Christmas as Mimi and Pop's house

playing with Mommy's birthday/Christmas present from daddy. Don't I have the best husband ever?!

Anna helping Nana make her delicious banana pudding. Anna is a great little helper in the kitchen.

One of Anna's favorite presents - a box full of dress up clothes! So cute!

This is where we kept Owen while visiting Nana......just kidding......it DID occupy him and Anna for quite some time though :)

Anna loves Play Doh. this is very serious business.

and this series is just so cute. love that little face. so much joy.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

from my babies

2011-12-24T14:40:00.000-05:00

For Christmas this year, my babies gave me two special gifts. Anna went #1 and #2 on the potty for the first time yesterday. It was amazing. Most people get what a big deal this is, but if you know anything about our potty woes with Anna, you'll really understand why I'm so happy! And Owen gave me the gift of napping twice a day again. He got really off of his schedule after traveling for Thanksgiving and he was also getting FOUR molars, which didn't help. In the past two weeks he's settled back into a routine, which is a huge gift to me. When he was only taking one nap I could never get it to line up with Anna's quiet time, so I was basically staggering time with kids all day. I LOVE my kiddos, but I really treasure that 45 minutes of mama time in the afternoon and I'm glad to have it back! Merry Christmas to me. Thanks, babies :)

hair cut

2011-12-11T08:51:00.000-05:00

I never understood it when mamas would get all emotional about cutting their children's hair. I would think, "Seriously lady, you'd rather your kid look like a used car salesman/hobo than cut their precious baby locks??" Now, I've become that lady. I guess when you have a girl you don't worry about it as much. It's normal for their hair to get long and go through some awkward phases. Anna went from mohawk to mullet to bangs constantly in face to the current pretty but always ratty. And we just go with it.

Having a boy has proved to be a different experience - particularly because Owen has such great hair :) I LOVE those little curls at the back and the ones that flip out over his ears. It had gotten a little out of control though and he was looking like quite the little ragamuffin. Kevin and I both agreed that it was time for a cut even if it meant that his precious baby curls would be gone forever.

Oh, geez. It was worse than I thought....

Trimmy trim trim.... after a trip to mama's salon :)

Oh look, there was a handsome little man hiding behind that mane!

I'm a fan of...

2011-12-09T09:12:00.001-05:00

Suave Kids Moisturizing Body Wash

I love this stuff! Both of my kids have really dry skin and sometimes get flare ups of eczema in the winter. This body wash is the best bang for my buck that I've come across. And you can't beat the price at less than $2.00 a bottle!

It works as a body wash and a bubble bath. I squeeze a bit into the tub while I'm filling it up and it foams better than most bubble baths we've used. After Anna takes a swim in the tub and soaks for 10 minutes (or sometimes an hour..) I can absolutely tell a difference in her skin. Pretty impressive if you ask me.

It's tear free and can be found in the aisle where kids shampoo/soaps are - not necessarily in the baby aisle.

Missy Messy

2011-12-08T17:20:00.000-05:00

big business

2011-12-06T10:06:00.000-05:00

My "little" business has been keeping my quite busy - thus the lack of thoughtful posts ;) You'll have to settle for cute pictures of my kids as I work through my pile of Christmas orders. I'm so grateful for all of you that have been supporting my craft. I love to crochet and it's fun to make some money doing it!

That being said, due to the large volume of orders I've received, I'm going to shut down my shop a little earlier than planned for the holidays. If you still want to order for Christmas, tomorrow (12/7) is your last chance. I'll continue to offer a very limited selection of in-stock items that are ready to ship, but will not be taking custom orders until January. Then, I'll hopefully be back in action. Thanks again for your support!!

when you get lemons....

2011-12-05T15:28:00.000-05:00

November rain turned into December rain and it's a real mess down here. Our backyard is kind of a swamp. Anna decided to make the best of this opportunity and put her rain boots to good use.

She doesn't know how good her mama is for letting her tromp around in the rain and mud.

I'll be sure to remind her later :)

When we came inside there was literally an inch of water in the bottom of her boots.

Owie and I watched her shenanigans from a distance and stayed (kind of) dry under the covered porch in the backyard. All in a days work ;)

birthday

2011-12-04T19:15:00.000-05:00

My birthday was yesterday. I turned 31. That used to seem a lot older than it does today. Guess that happens when you grow up. I had a great day. My advent gift for the day was a package filled with gift cards, treats, and notes from friends in Middletown. SO great! Thanks to all who took the time to write a note and send a gift. You guys are great!

And the day kept getting better! I spent the morning at the Sojourn East women's gift exchange, which is quite the deal. It was fun to meet new people and eat some yummy treats and I left with a bag of goodies. I'm continually amazed at how good the Lord is. The folks at Sojourn East have been so warm and welcoming to us and it's really feeling like home.

The day ended with with my favorites - pizza, Mountain Dew, and Kevin :) haha. He picked up Papalino's (yum!) and we spent the evening in relaxing and chatting. Not too shabby.

advent basket

2011-12-01T08:35:00.001-05:00

Thankful for the friend, or most likely, friendS that treated me to a surprise this morning. I woke up to my very own Advent "basket". Sent from Middletown, I presume :) Thankful for people that love me well and point me to Jesus. Love you!

lost and found

2011-11-29T22:29:00.001-05:00

Meet Ella (the frog) and Bizzie (the lizard). I suggested Lizzie and she said, "Yeah, Bizzie!" She recently added a caterpillar that she calls Sally, but I don't have a pic of her yet. They're Anna's current favorites and partners in crime. Kind of funny choices.

They've been inseparable for the past two weeks or so. She sets them up to watch her get into mischief.

Ready....

set....

GO!

Today, Anna insisted on taking them both into the "Cookie Store" aka Kroger - and we came out one short. I knew it would happen eventually. She didn't notice until we got home, but when she couldn't find Bizzie in the car she was pretty upset. She stood in the driveway and said, "Oh, no. This is terrible!!" Then, she asked to talk to daddy. We called him and she told him about how Bizzie got lost in the cookie store. She was so concerned.

Luckily, while we were unpacking our groceries, we found him (er, her I guess) ! He/she was there hiding in one of our bags. Phew. That was a close one. Thought we were going to have an Orange Juice situation on our hands, like my friend Mr. Mister's Mama!

Reunited and it feels so good :)

like the last

2011-11-27T20:01:00.001-05:00

A few months back, I was talking to a friend of mine who had recently given birth to her fifth and final child. She was explaining how strange it felt to be experiencing so many "lasts" when the years leading up to this child had been filled with so many firsts. She recounted a recent moment in the car when the newest babe was crying. Instead of being frustrated, she herself started crying, realizing that she would only have limited time with a crying baby as this last little man began to grow up. I chuckled in disbelief, but I've thought of that conversation many times since then.

Having the attitude that Owen might be my last baby boy and that Anna might be my last little girl, has granted me some perspective and a lot more patience. Everything seems much more endearing when you allow the thought to enter your mind that you may never experience it again.

I'm not saying that they WILL be my last babies. I'd be okay if they're my last for a bit though :) More on that another day. As I was reading James the other day, I was reminded that I'm not the one making the calls anyway. It reminded me how dangerous it can be to plan out our entire future. We may want a lot of things (or at least think we do), but we should be wary of buying into the illusion that we're the authors of the script - the only one powerful enough for that is Jesus.

Now, listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money, {and have four more babies}. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." James 4:13-15 {my thoughts added for emphasis}

For now, I'm going to use this to help me appreciate today. crumbs, crying, and all.

the Lawn Wranglerz - for your viewing pleasure :)

2011-11-20T14:21:00.002-05:00

Kevin and I were hanging out with the Sages the other night, reminiscing on our days in Young Life. We were pleased to find this gem still on our computer. It was Kevin's last year doing Fall Weekend program (2006) before we started The Oaks and he was determined to pack in as much Bottle Rocket humor as possible. I honestly, don't remember much of the plot behind this video - but does it really matter?? Enjoy!

p.s. my favorite part is right around 1:39 :)

long week....

2011-11-19T09:44:00.001-05:00

Whew. What a week!

Last weekend both of my kids were sick. Anna was at the tail end which wasn't too bad, but Owen had a really high fever and was pretty fussy. Fortunately, my mom was in town so I had some extra hands while Kevin was working. I took Owen to the doctor on Monday morning . Of course, by the time we got there he seemed totally fine. Typical. The doc seemed to think that he's had some kind of virus that had run it's course. He was fussy again by Monday afternoon, but by Tuesday was on the mend.

We took an impromptu trip to Middletown on Tuesday morning and stayed til Thursday. I've been having some minor health issues and wanted to get checked out. I made numerous phone calls trying to get into a new doc down here, but because I'm a new patient it was going to take over a month for anyone to see me. Talk about frustrating. It wasn't serious enough to go to urgent care, but I really wanted to get checked out sooner than a month to see if there was a bigger problem and to see if there was anything that could be done to make me more comfortable. And due to some family history, I'm probably a little paranoid.

I finally just called my doctor in Middletown and they were able to run some tests on Tues and follow up on Wednesday, so I just drove up. Without getting into too many details, they think I have a cyst. I'm so thankful that it isn't serious. At the same time, it's frustrating because there isn't much that can be done. I'm going to have a follow up appointment down here in a month or so. If you have any experience with this, get in touch with me. I'd love to hear about it.

We stayed with the Lopinas on Tuesday night. Jackie treated us to a yummy dinner and it was so great to spend some time chatting with her after the babies went to sleep. I left with a full belly and a full heart. I'm super thankful for her. We stayed with Nana on Wednesday night.

The kids slept well at night, but Owen hardly slept during the day the whole time we were gone. He was already off of his schedule from being sick and then traveling seemed to put him over the edge. To add insult to injury, I realized he was teething - TWO molars! Poor little guy. He's having a rough week. I'm trying to get him back onto a routine, but I feel like it's a little futile with Thanksgiving coming up. *sigh*

brain dump.....

2011-11-13T12:13:00.000-05:00

Most of us are either chalk boarders or gift wrappers in terms of communication. Gift wrappers generally like to process internally and then present their thoughts in an organized and clear manner. Chalk boarders tend to word vomit and process as they go, spewing everything that comes to mind in an effort to make sense of things. I think I'm more of a gift wrapper, but I have my chalk boarding tendencies - and some of you may totally disagree with my self diagnosis:) That's fine. You may be right! Sometimes I don't blog about things for a long time as I'm processing them because I'm waiting to get them organized to present in a cohesive way. Then, it's three months later and I'm still working on a draft that hasn't materialized.

Anyway, the other day I was talking to someone older and wiser than me and realized I was totally chalk boarding. I just kept spewing all of the random things that I've been thinking about. I wasn't really asking a question or looking for an answer, just emptying my brain of its contents into the middle of her living room. Poor, Nora. On the way home I remembered a post from my friend, Katie. She did a bit of a brain dump herself a while back and I rather enjoyed it.

So here you go. What's on my mind. Feel free to use them as a jumping off point for conversation the next time we chat. I'd love to hear your thoughts :) Maybe I'll eventually get around to writing an entire post about some/all. Probably not though.

1. homeschool vs. private school vs. public school?
how does the Bible inform this decision? pros/cons of each? is there a best fit for temperament of children?what message am I sending my children with the choice I make?socialization, exposure to culture, isolationism....?

2. growing our family?
should we have more kids? what does the Bible say?what are my motives? Pride in having a big family, comfort in the present - i.e. is my desire to have more children or lackthereof a product of sin? evaluating the true size of our "plate"?

3. meal planning

realistic recipes and meal planning for our schedule. slowly eliminating as much processed food as possible. adding more veggies and fiber to our diet. easy recipes that are still good for us

4. friendship and community

can you have one without the other? Biblical definition of each vs. cultural definition

5. Potty training

methods and practices that will work with Anna's temperament and history of bathroom "issues".

6. Yarn Republic

balancing time spent on my side business. Great source of extra income and a good hobby, but when does it cross the line into work that gets in the way of family time and duties?

7. Family traditions

what are specific holiday traditions that we can put into place? thought behind current and future traditions? What are we trying to teach/model? how do the Bible and culture inform these choices? If it's not Biblically rooted, should it be eliminated entirely (Santa, Christmas trees, etc)

visitors

2011-11-11T15:06:00.002-05:00

This week has been chock-full of visitors! On Monday, Nana drove down for a visit. It was really great to see her. Kevin took her out to lunch and then they did some shopping while I took Owen to his 12 month well visit at the new pediatrician.

Curry came down for a much anticipated visit from Tuesday until Thursday morning. It was fabulous. I was so excited to see her and baby John - who hardly seems like a baby anymore. Such a little man! Anna and John aren't exactly great at sharing, but they seemed to enjoy playing together more than not and Owen just tried to keep up. My time with Curry is always great, but this visit was really refreshing for my soul. I've been meeting lots of new people and have really enjoyed that time, but there's something totally different about spending time with someone who really knows you. We had really great conversations while breaking up toddler fights and over Derby pie once they went to bed.

I think her baby bump (at 25 weeks) is significantly larger than when I last saw it a month ago. We had to have a mini photo shoot. That's one good looking mama, eh??

We also had Grayson and Bryan stay at the house on Tuesday night because they had Louisville meetings on Wednesday. It was like being back in Middletown :) We loved seeing everyone and it was really fun having such a full house of people we love!

praise worthy

2011-11-10T21:09:00.000-05:00

We've been in Louisville for a month. How crazy is that?? It has been wonderful. Kevin and I were talking the other night about how good God has been to us during this transition. We prepared ourselves for the worst, but prayed for the best and what do you know, the Lord answered in abundance. Too often, I react to answered prayers as if they are just good fortune instead of the gracious work of the Father. We could never have done all of this on our own. He orchestrated so many things that have brought our family peace and given us unwavering confidence that we are exactly where we need to be. He is SO good and worthy of praise. Just wanted to take a moment to reflect on His goodness. These are just a few of our answered prayers. There are many more!

About a year ago, we prayed that the Lord would give us direction for our future. Should we stay at The Oaks or seek out other opportunities to serve in the Kingdom?:
Soon after that the door was opened to join the Sojourn team

Once the decision was made, we prayed that our house would sell quickly:
HUGE answered prayer. We never even had to put our house on the market. A friend from The Oaks bought it and is renting it to some other Oaks folks :) We were able to close before our big move!

With such a short amount of time before our quick move, we prayed that we would be able to find somewhere to live in Louisville:
We were given the opportunity to stay in a house that Sojourn owns while we save money and get more familiar with the area before buying. This has been such a blessing and relieved so much stress from our move and transition down.

I prayed that the Lord would provide women for me to connect with and that I would make a few easy connections to get started:
Making new friendships can be hard, but I prayed over and over that I would meet at least one person that I felt a really natural connection with. God went above and beyond and I've met a number of women that I have LOVED spending time with and look forward to seeing more of. I know I've only been here a few weeks and things might slow down a bit, but I've had plenty to do with playdates and such. It has been wonderful. I'm looking forward to forging new friendships here and cultivating the community of women at Sojourn East.

We prayed that our family would grow closer and healthier:
We've seen a lot more of Kevin since moving. It's been really great to have him around and I especially enjoy watching him with Anna and Owen. The job is still demanding, but in a different way than The Oaks. He's probably busier than before, but is far less stressed and seems to be on a healthier rhythm which impacts our whole family.

never say never....

2011-11-04T15:00:00.000-04:00

This morning I bought a pair of Jeggings - something I said I'd never do. I mean, seriously, what grown woman wears something called jeggings?? Alas, I did it. This following shortly after I bought a pair of skinny jeans a few weeks ago (that I also swore I'd never own) because they were super on sale and I figured I'd at least wear them with boots. Turns out, I actually like them. As long as I have on a long enough sweater to cover my hips and thighs, they're not so bad. In fact, they were very nearly my most comfortable jeans - until I bought the jeggings (I laugh to myself every time I say it - jeggings. ha) Who knew?

As I was in the store pondering the purchase, it got me thinking about some of the other things I said I'd never do - and ended up doing somewhere along the way.

I will NEVER drink coffee - hard to remember a time when I thought coffee was gross.
I will NEVER own a pair of Crocs. They're absolutely ridiculous - I have FIVE pair now.
I will NEVER gain 15 pounds my freshman year of college - I technically didn't break this one because I gained 25 pounds! What?!
I will NEVER like Skyline - I was actually a closet fan of Skyline for a while after this statement because I hated to admit that I'd been won over to the dark side.
I will NEVER drive a minivan - I'm still driving a Civic, but I can 100% see the the value and appeal in a mini van. I would take one in a heartbeat if it was gifted to me and it's definitely in my long term plan. So functional.
I will NEVER let my kids sit mindlessly in front of the television - I don't know who I thought I was kidding here. Definitely a statement made before having children.
I will NEVER be that parent driving around with a car full of crumbs and toys - My car may as well be a rolling toy box. It just happens. Seems like my kids take one extra toy with them every time we go in the car, but they rarely make it back to the house.
I will NEVER succumb to the torture of listening to children's music in the car - our Yo Gabba Gabba cd is starting to skip because it's been played so much. A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.

I know there are plenty more, but that's all I can come up with today. What's something you swore you'd never do??

conversations with inanimate objects

2011-11-02T22:25:00.000-04:00

Anna is in the stage that she wants to do everything like mommy. Part of that is her talking to her toys and other random things like she's the mom. I've found myself playing along with her and chatting with and disciplining things. I feel like other moms will probably get this. The rest of you might just think this is ridiculous - and you'd be right. When did I become this person?

Scenario 1
We're walking down our driveway. I'm pushing Owen on his tricycle and Anna is pulling her wagon. The wagon gets away from her as the hill gets steeper and starts rolling downhill. She takes off running after it.

Me: WAGON!! What are you doing? You can't take off down the road without holding someone's hand. Get back here!

Anna: Yeah, wagon! Get back here!

we catch the wagon after it bumps into a fence and comes to a stop

Me: Wagon, are you okay?

Anna: yeah, Wagon's okay. Jus' bumped his head.

Me: Now, Wagon, this is why you have to hold a hand. You can get hurt running off like that.

Anna: yeah, Wagon, you hear dat? Hold my hand or you haffa get a spankin' for being 'sobedient!

Scenario 2
Anna is sitting at the table eating and she accidently knocks her sippy cup on the floor (one of those with the straw) which makes a tiny puddle of water.

Anna: Oh, no! Cup! You okay, Cup?? What you doin' down there? You haffa stay at the table!

Me: Cup, are you alright? Do you need help?

Anna (for cup): Yis, I'm alright. I made a big mess. I sorry.

Me: it's okay, Cup. It was just an accident. I bet Anna will help me clean up.

Anna: It's okay, Cup. Don't be sad. Just accident. I'll help.

It's sweet hearing HER talk to things and realizing that she actually listens to me and understands rules and discipline. It's pretty humorous when I catch MYSELF joining it. Oh well, I guess that's just part of having a little kid.

Halloween

2011-10-30T22:15:00.000-04:00

Sojourn East hosted a Trunk or Treat event for the first time this year. There was a really good turn out and we got to meet some more people from church. Owen was a sweet little lion man. Thanks for the costumes, Mimi and Pop! He was content to ride around in the stroller and people watch - a man after my own heart :)

Anna had fun walking around with daddy, collecting candy and playing games.....

until she couldn't handle waiting her turn at the bounce house and we had to leave a bit prematurely due to said meltdown. Life is hard when you're 2. I didn't include pictures of her at the end of the evening. Let's choose to remember her like this - enjoying her first taste of cotton candy. so sweet.

mommy's little helpers

2011-10-29T16:06:00.001-04:00

Anna LOVES to "help" me bake. I don't bake all that much because it's kind of an ordeal. If I let her in on the action (which she always wants), I know in advance that it's going to take twice as long and produce twice the mess. But hey, sometimes you just gotta let go. Owie was content to sit on the sidelines and eat crackers while we made festive pumpkin cookies. How much do you love her little apron??

You've probably come across a million pumpkin recipes over the past few weeks so I'm not going to post it, but if you're interested you can find it here at allrecipes.com. I just use store bought cream cheese frosting instead of the icing in the recipe. mmmmmm.

little monsters

2011-10-27T10:22:00.000-04:00

I made these as a baby gift for little Arlo and his monster themed nursery. I saw them on his mama's Pinterest. Check here for pattern and more ideas.

the meditations of my heart

2011-10-24T14:49:00.000-04:00

I enjoyed some extended quiet time TWO days in a row yesterday while the kids napped and this morning while Kevin encouraged me to go out to read while he played with them. Yesterday I came across this verse in Psalms that just really stuck out to me. I moved on to another book and then had to come back to think about it some more because I just couldn't get it out of my head. I think it was truly God working on my heart to bring some needed clarity and conviction.

First, I don't always think that the words of my mouth are pleasing to the Lord. This is mostly when I lose my patience with my kids - which is a lot. It's more the tone I take with them than the actual words, but sometimes my words are harsh too as I hurry them and scold them for doing things that normal 1 and 2 years olds do. One of the things I pray most for is patience, and I'm going to continue to do so.

The second (and more convicting thing) was the "meditations of my heart" part. It brought to mind something that Kevin said in a sermon a while back. He said that if you want to know what your idols are and where your devotion lies, ask yourself, "what do I think about when I can think about anything? Where does my mind wander?"

Lately for me - and this may sound ridiculous (because it is) - it's boots. The amount of time that I've spent online or in stores looking for the perfect pair of boots is shameful. I've been scheming up a way that I can afford the perfect pair that cost over $300. When I'm at the park or the grocery store or even at church (gasp!), I'm checking out people's boots!! That's where my mind wanders. Seriously?! Seriously. How embarrassing. As I came to this revelation a verse from Colossions came to mind - and kicked me in the butt again.

you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (Col 3:1-2)

So there it is. Some painful self discovery. I love Pinterest, but I feel like it's definitely fueled a lot of these thoughts. I see all of those pretty things and fun ideas and delicious recipes to try and they consume my thoughts. I'm lead to covetousness and materialism. My mind is so crammed full of "great ideas" and cute clothes that it can't wander to things above. So, I'm going to drastically be limiting my pinning for the time being, in hopes that Jesus will be made much of in the meditations of my heart.

to infinity.....and beyond!

2011-10-23T18:09:00.002-04:00

I've been working on some fun scarves for fall/winter!

First, some great infinity scarves made with soft acrylic yarn in super fun fall colors. I keep making them for my shop, but I want to keep them all!!

Next, a couple of cowl neck scarves made with super chunky yarn. I made Curry one for her birthday and then forced her to model it for me :)

What do you think? If you were to order one for fall or winter, what color and style would YOU want??

starting to feel like home

2011-10-22T22:47:00.000-04:00

Many of you have asked for pics of the new place. Here it is :) We're staying here indefinitely until we can save some more money and get a better feel for where we want to buy. Being able to stay here has been a huge answer to prayer and an amazing blessing to our family.

have your cake and eat it too

2011-10-21T19:35:00.000-04:00

We had a party with friends and family for Anna's first birthday. It was quite the celebration. Moving less than two weeks before Owen's 1st birthday was not conducive for having a party, but I really didn't want him to be the total second child and not have any type of celebration. I decided to make him a little smash cake so we could at least have something fun to photograph and mark the day. I was pretty pleased with myself. I thought it was pretty cute!

He was curious.....

but he did NOT like it....

He HAD been up since 5:30 am with two very short naps so we chalked it up to him being super tired and put him to bed ridiculously early (6pm). It was a pretty anticlimactic 1st birthday, but we decided to try again today. And Mimi came to visit and brought a candle!

He STILL didn't like it. We even stuck his hand in it to show him. He really didn't like that!

So sis decided to help him out....

that didn't work either. What a sad face!

so we gave up again and took him out of the seat, but he was still eyeing the cake so I offered him a bit on a fork - SUCCESS!

after getting his hand in the way of the fork he decided the frosting wasn't so bad after all....

the aftermath. Happy Birthday, Owie!!

Happy Birthday, Owen!

2011-10-20T05:10:00.001-04:00

Owen, we can't believe you're a year old already! This month you finally moved on from the army crawl to a real four-point crawl. You are much steadier on your feet and are easily pulling yourself up and walking around furniture. I think it'll still be a while before you're full on walking. You started sleeping through the night again - thank God! You take two solid naps during the day and lay down without a fight. You started drinking milk this week and although you don't seem to like it that much, you still drink it :) Our new house has stairs and you LOVE climbing them. You're becoming much more independent and are learning what NO means. You hear it a lot and don't much care for it. Your personality is really starting to shine through.

It has been a blessing and honor to be your parents. We love you SO much and look forward to seeing the man that the Lord grows you into. Happy Birthday, buddy!

1 day

2 weeks

1 month

2 months

3 months

4 months

5 months

6 months

7 months

8 months

9 months

10 months

11 months

look of disapproval

2011-10-18T13:58:00.001-04:00

Owen's been testing his boundaries. This is the face he makes when we tell him no (like when he's trying to climb the stairs) or take things away from him that he shouldn't be putting in his mouth (like Squinkies). We've been seeing a lot of it lately! Pretty cute though :)

be still and abide

2011-10-17T15:34:00.000-04:00

We spent the morning with some new friends, which was fun and seemed to exhaust the kids. They promptly went down for naps after our company left. After putting them down I started cleaning up and organizing some of our boxes when I felt a godly conviction telling me to SIT DOWN! So, I did. That's a huge victory because I have to confess - I haven't read my Bible in a week. Okay, closer to two. I've been so swept up in the process of moving that I haven't taken a moment to be still and sit at the Lord's feet. It's always a temptation for me to DO instead of be still when I feel I should be doing something "productive", but that drive has been taken to an extreme during the move. There is always something that "needs" to be done. Today, however, I felt that the Lord was being loud and clear, "Be still and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:10)

I needed it, but it was hard. Solitude, prayer, and time in the Word are muscles that require exercise. They begin to atrophy when not used regularly. Being still seems awkward and forced. I never know where to start. It feels unnatural and I wonder if it's worth the time. The answer of course, is YES!

A number of years ago, I was reading my bible at Panera and a man walked by. He asked if I was a student of the Word. My response was something like, "Uh, I guess?" He proceeded to tell me that 1 John was the most important book in the Bible and the rest was just fluff. Haha. I don't echo his sentiments, but I DO really enjoy 1 John and today it was a great place to return :) As I was reading, I was struck by how many times the word abide is used in such a short book. That seemed fitting today.

how to unpack with a two year old....

2011-10-14T15:36:00.001-04:00

Unpacking has been a slow process. I've been most productive during Owen's first nap. I worked on the master bathroom (which is approximately the size of our old bedroom) and walk-in closet (yes, I said walk-in) while Anna went "swimming" in "mommy's tubby". She really likes making a bubble beard :)

Check out those mirrored walls. Classy.

And while I unpacked some kitchen things she created some finger paint masterpieces. I used the back of old wrapping paper for canvas. She of course LOVED it.

we made it!

2011-10-11T20:36:00.000-04:00

It's been a crazy 48 hours, but we made it to Louisville! I can't express how thankful we are to all of the people who helped us to move on both ends. We truly couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for giving up your time and energy to help us make this move possible. We're slowly digging our way out of boxes :) Again - thank you, thank you, thank you.

time to push

2011-10-08T22:32:00.000-04:00

People have been asking how I've been feeling about the move. Anxious? Excited? Overwhelmed? Yes. Yes. Yes. All of the above. I kind of feel like this whole process is similar to preparing to have a baby. Months and months of preparation serve as a distraction from this huge thing that's about to happen. You're so consumed with picking out strollers, and bedding, and tiny clothes that you almost forget that you're life is about to change forever. Similarly, over the past few weeks, the packing has been a welcome distraction to what's about to happen. Having a baby is an awesome blessing, but it's also a little scary. Okay, a LOT scary, kind of like our move. Our entire reality is about to change.

You have 9 months to prepare to have a baby, but it's still really shocking when you go into labor and then within a day or so (unless you're Curry Winters) you have a baby. Then, you take it home with you and life goes on. Day by day you get used to the fact that you're a mom and that you're responsible for keeping someone else alive. It's crazy. It takes months before that, "I can't believe I have a baby!" feeling starts to fade - I still wake up sometimes and can't believe I have two children. I'm anticipating some of those feelings when we get to Louisville. After months and months of preparation, we're going to be there. In a few days I'm going to wake up in another state that is going to be my new home. That's going to take some getting used to. Here we go. Time to push.

I'm a fan of.....

2011-10-07T10:51:00.001-04:00

Dolly Parton's Imagination Library

In 1996, Dolly Parton launched an exciting new effort to benefit the children of her home county in east Tennessee. Dolly wanted to foster a love of reading among her county’s preschool children and their families. She wanted children to be excited about books and to feel the magic that books can create. Moreover, she could insure that every child would have books, regardless of their family’s income.
So she decided to mail a brand new, age appropriate book each month to every child under 5 in Sevier County. With the arrival of every child’s first book, the classic The Little Engine That Could ™, every child could now experience the joy of finding their very own book in their mail box. These moments continue each month until the child turns 5—and in their very last month in the program they receive Look Out Kindergarten Here I Come. (from the website)

A free book every month for each child in your household - how great is that?! Way to go, Dolly :) We've been getting books for about a year now and it's been great to see what will come. Some books are a little out there, but most are pretty cool. It used to just be in Middletown, but recently expanded to Monroe, Trenton, and Madison as well. Check the link for locations near you. Unfortunately, the communities of Louisville haven't embraced the Imagination Library yet, so our books are going to stop coming. Sad.

picture's worth a thousand words

2011-10-06T15:21:00.000-04:00

Kevin found Anna like this one day last week when he went to wake her from a late nap. The picture says so much about her right now.

1. She's in her "big girl" bed!
I posted a while back about how she was refusing to sleep in her newly converted bed. About a week later she just decided she was ready and we've hardly had any problems with her! Many people told me that it was something that she'd do easily when she was ready. Guess they were right :)

2. She's all about routine and rules.
Anna seems to respond best to routine and repetition. One example is her bedtime routine. Whenever we put her to bed we tuck her in her covers, say prayers, and then remind her of the rules. If we forget any step she's quick to remind us, but particularly with, "Now, what's the rule?? Stay in your bed, til mommy/daddy come'n get you!" haha. What this picture reveals is that sometimes she does in fact stray from her bed, but she generally brings the toys back with her to play. That's only bending the rules, right? :) If you can't tell, she fell asleep while she was playing house.

3. She won't wear clothes to bed
This is something that just started a few weeks ago. I would come to get her in the morning and find her in nothing but a diaper. Now, she's extended this routine to naps. It's not like she wakes up at some point and takes off her clothes. I've watched through a cracked door as she stands up in bed and wrestles her clothes off, just after we've tucked her in and walked out. Then, she lays back down and covers herself up again. Hilarious.

4. Her bed is an evolving circus
She still sleeps with about 5 blankets, but she's down to about 4 stuffed animals. Guess she had to make room for the house ;)

perfect grilled cheese

2011-10-04T19:35:00.001-04:00

Grilled cheese comes in a close second behind pizza as my favorite food. Yes, I have very distinguished taste ;) I just love pizza and grilled cheese! Kevin wooed me on our very first date with the best grilled cheese sandwich I'd ever tasted. Seriously. He won my heart with grilled cheese, hot chocolate, and Frank Sinatra - not necessarily in that order :)

There are three rules for making an amazing grilled cheese sandwich:

1. white bread
We eat wheat bread for everything else, but grilled cheese sandwiches just aren't the same. You can use really fancy white bread or plain Kroger sandwich bread, but use white bread! We're not talking about nutritional value here, we're talking about taste, so argue if you want, but you're wrong on this one. I know grilled cheese :)

2. You can't rush perfection
The only way to getting a perfectly toasted, golden (and not burnt) sandwich is to be patient. Set the heat a little below medium (4/10 on my stovetop) and WAIT! It takes longer but the lower temp is important. If you use a lot of cheese, then you'll probably want to put the lid on for a while to help the melting process. I don't recommend leaving it on the whole time though because sometimes it traps in moisture and makes your sandwich soggy instead of crispy.

3. garlic salt
The secret weapon. I'm giving it to you for free. Don't doubt, just sprinkle a little on before cooking and wait for your world to be rocked. Yum Yum Yum.

terrible twos

2011-10-02T22:24:00.003-04:00

Anna has been livin' up the terrible twos since she was about 18 months old. I'm fearful that it will last until she's 10. Let's hope not. She's pretty darn awesome most of the time, but when she goes into meltdown mode she doesn't mess around. I have to spread my errands over a whole week because we never seem to successfully make more than one stop a day. Last week she melted down three days in a row while we were out. Three separate trips that ended with her screaming and crying in the backseat and me crying in the front. Seriously. It's amazing how defeating it can be.

On the plus side, I'm learning SO much from her and the way we both react to these "little" escapades. In some way, I feel like the Lord must have given me a daughter with such a strong will to constantly give me perspective on my purpose, value and justification in this world. There's nothing like a disobedient, tantrum throwing, boot flinging two year old to remind you that you're not in control. I try pretty hard to be a good mom to my kids. I try to make good choices. I try to lead them in a godly way. And I think that if both of my kids were perfect angels all of the time, I'd be tempted to think that it was all because of ME, because I'm such a great mom. As it is, Anna is a tantrum throwing fool and Owen is a pretty fussy baby.

In my best moments I know that my identity and worth is not wrapped up in how obedient they are. The goal of parenting is not simply to produce obedient children - it's to glorify God. Unfortunately, my best moments aren't the majority. The majority of my time I'm worried about how other people are judging me as my daughter is rolling down the main aisle of Target kicking and screaming. In case you're wondering, that wasn't hypothetical. That happened last week. And the week before that. And probably the week before that. I worry that I'm failing as a mom because my daughter sounds like she's possessed and looks like she's having a seizure as I wrangle her out of Kroger, pushing the cart with my elbows as we attempt to make our way to the car. Again, not hypothetical. I feel like I'm just banging my head against the wall (that IS hypothetical - so far) and that none of the good choices, or chats about Jesus, or routines make any difference. I wonder if it even matters because this is how it always turns out. I'm carrying Owen and dragging her through a parking lot, trying to explain to her that cars are still dangerous even if she's screaming like a banshee and feels invincible.

I'm writing this now in a moment of clarity that I surely won't feel tomorrow if I brave the store and she freaks out for one reason or another. In this moment I am confident that it does matter. There are tons of small victories. When we get home she walks straight to her room to get the spanking that she earned for her behavior. Once she calms down in the car, her first words are almost always, "I'm so so sorry, mommy. I'm sorry I throw a fit." It doesn't always offer much consolation at the time when I'm still sobbing over the steering wheel, but safely out of the storm, I can see how meaningful those words are. She's learning about sin and confession and repentance and she's only two. Praise God for that. I pray that the Lord will continue to teach us both as we navigate these waters. I pray for patience-for her and for me. I pray for wisdom in knowing how to shepherd her strong spirit. I pray that I will see all of the amazing qualities in her that the Lord is shaping. I pray that I won't care what other people think.

As a sidenote, if you ever see a mom struggling to get two or more babies through a parking lot - ask if she needs help!! I think that most people are so afraid of offending a mom that they miss a wonderful opportunity to serve her. If I haven't made it clear, I worry a lot about what people are thinking of me when Anna is totally freaking out, but on every one of those occasions I would have taken an offer for help in an instant. On one of the trips I passed at least FIVE different people in the parking lot as I carried Owen in one arm and Anna writhing in the other and the best that anyone had to offer me was, "looks like you've got your hands full." You think?! Maybe you will offend someone, but I'm giving you permission to ask. Blame it on me if they don't like it. And if you're in the store and it's obvious there's nothing you can do to physically help, just make eye contact and smile. It's like people think that if they don't make eye contact I'll be fooled into thinking that they didn't notice my crazed toddler. Really, people?? You can even say something kind like, "they're so tough at that age. Hang in there mama." Or, "I know it doesn't seem like it, but this won't last forever." Or even, "you're doing a good job." You'd be surprised at how encouraging a smile and a kind word are during those moments.

pack it up, pack it in

2011-10-01T14:25:00.001-04:00

I've been packing 1-2 boxes a day for the past few weeks hoping that it would alleviate a fast and furious rush at the very end. Slow and steady wins the race, as they say. Unfortunately, we're about a week out from our big move and it still seems like there's a LOT of stuff that needs to be packed. I anticipate this week being kind of hectic. Pray that it won't be stressful and that I'll be able to spend some quality time with some of my favorites before changing zip codes!

p.s. I hope the title of this post has you humming along to House of Pain. I am :)

i'm a fan of.....

2011-09-30T10:13:00.002-04:00

Ceramic Coffee Pour Over

Kevin saw this at Starbucks a few weeks ago and asked me to pick one up. We've been drinking a lot less coffee at home since Kevin spends most of his days working at a coffee shop and I've been limiting my caffeine during pregnancy and nursing. We're also pretty sure our coffee pot is on it's last leg so finding this little guy was perfect timing. The pour over filter is great because I can brew my cup of decaf when I get up with the kids and Kevin can brew his own before he heads out to work. It only takes a few minutes and makes the best cup of coffee that I've had at home in a really long time!

All you do is put the ceramic cone on top of your mug, insert a cone filter, add ground coffee, and pour over hot water. Easy peasy. You can pick up the one we have at Starbucks for $12.95 or there are several other versions available on Amazon for under $10. Enjoy!

11 months

2011-09-27T10:55:00.001-04:00

Owen is 21 pounds. That's what they told me when we were at the doctor this morning getting his cough checked out. Turns out he has TWO infected ears and croup! He made it 11 whole months with barely a runny nose and now he's all kinds of sick. Poor little guy. He's still not up on all fours crawling, but I think his army crawl is getting even faster. I didn't think that was even possible. He's pulling himself up on everything and is just starting to creep around the furniture. He's getting a lot more steady on his feet, but I don't see him walking anytime real soon. He's pretty chatty when he's happy and likes to make funny noises. He's still eating anything that you put in front on him. He HATES taking baths. He likes to stand on the side and splash the water while Anna is in, but totally freaks out when I put him in, so his "bath" lasts all of a minute while I soap him down. I can't believe he's about to be a year old. How did that happen??

So, these aren't great pictures, but you get the point. It's getting increasingly more difficult to take pictures of Owen in his chair because he's so squirmy. Anna always ends up climbing in and trying to hold him - which he doesn't like :) You can get a good view of his teeth though!

read this: A Praying Life

2011-09-22T14:21:00.004-04:00

I first read Paul Miller's "A Praying Life" back in August 2009. We were on our family vacation in northern Minnesota and it was our first time taking Anna. She was 6 months old at the time and it was rough. From 6-9 months Anna was kind of a bear. I truly believe that it was harder than when she was a newborn. Being on vacation for three whole weeks during that time was definitely a struggle.

All that to say, this book was truly a Godsend while I was on that trip. I was challenged and encouraged SO much. It radically changed my perspective on prayer and is one of those books that I will probably always remember. I often reference points that he makes in the book. I just started to reread it and it's rocking my world all over again. The chapters are fairly short. I've been reading one every other day or so.

Miller encourages keeping a prayer journal to help organize your prayers and to have a record to go back to, making it really clear how God truly is listening. I've journaled for years, but after reading this book I started intentionally writing out cards to keep in the back to reference. I date them as the prayers are answered and sometimes write a little note of how it worked out. Sometimes it's in a way that I never would have imagined and sometimes it takes a really long time. Either way, it's really cool to see how the Lord works and it challenges me to be persistent in prayer and also in praising him when I see fruit.

Read it. I promise, you won't be disappointed.

*author's note: since posting it's been brought to my attention that some people have been disappointed. I shouldn't make promises I can't keep :) I do, however, stick to my the claim that it's worth checking out if you haven't. *

Happy Birthday, Phyllis!

2011-09-20T05:00:00.001-04:00

I'm not going to get into what an amazing, life-giving, encouraging, challenging, fantastic woman of God she is because I'd probably just end up sobbing over my keyboard. I'll just say this - Curry, you have been an incredible blessing in my life and I look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with you - no matter where we are. Love you friend. Happy Birthday! Here are just a few of my favorites.

more than follow the leader

2011-09-18T21:21:00.003-04:00

the night we got engaged, Feb '03

Sometime during our engagement (back in 2003) I told Kevin that I'd follow him anywhere. I don't exactly know where I thought that would be, but I trusted him then and I trust him even more today. I am blessed to be married to a man who leads our family well and is running hard after Jesus. When we were engaged I don't think I thought much past living the dream of being a (YL) staff wife! I never imagined that we'd start a church and that I'd be a pastor's wife! And of all of the paths I could have dreamed up, not one of them included moving to Louisville, but I cannot express how confident I am that this is exactly where the Lord wants us. US. Not just Kevin. It's easy to see how he is being called there, but I am being called as well. I'm not simply following him to a new city for a new job. I've already seen the Lord grow me so much through this experience and we're not even there! He has revealed idols to me and is refining me. That's painful at times. The reality of moving has made it obvious to me that I've made comfort, control and community ultimate things. I've been reading Deuteronomy again, which has been challenging and encouraging.

"Beware lest you raise your eyes to heaven, and when you see the sun and the moon and the stars, all the host of heaven, you be drawn away and bow down to them and serve them, things that the Lord your God has allotted to all the peoples under the whole heaven.....Take care, lest you forget the covenant of the Lord your God, which he made with you, and make a carved image, the form of anything that the Lord your God has forbidden you. For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God." Deut 4:19,23-24

and I hear
{Beware lest you see your community and all of the wonderful friends you have, and you be drawn away and worship them, things that the Lord has created and given you...Take care, lest you forget the Lord and make them ultimate things.}

And when you eat and are full, then take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery." Deut 6:12

and I hear
{And when you look around at your friends, family, and home and find yourself quite comfortable and in control, then take care lest you forget the Lord, who saved you from your sins, freed you from slavery, and made this comfortable life possible.}

I love to be comfortable because I can take care of everything. I often forget that my comfort is all a product of the grace that Jesus has showered upon me. I love being with people who know me, but I rarely find comfort in the truth that the Lord knows me better than anyone else ever could. Being in a new city with very few friends will stretch me and and that's exactly what I need. I didn't realize that I was clenching some of these things with white knuckles until my fingers were being pried off through this season of refinement.

So, this move isn't just about Kevin and a wonderful job opportunity. The Lord has called us both and I ask that you continue to pray for our entire family, as we prepare to move and embark on this new season of life. Pray that through it we will draw nearer to the Cross and grow more and more into the people that He has created us to be.

white chicken chili

2011-09-16T12:32:00.001-04:00

Unfortunately, Kevin is on a bit of a Crock Pot strike. Sad, isn't it?? I may have overdone it. He thinks that everything in the Crock Pot tastes the same. I don't think that's actually true, but it may be true for all of the things that I make. I never claimed to be a whiz in the kitchen :)

Anyway, I was recently reminded (by Jen Martin) of how much I love it, so I thought I'd post the recipe for the rest of you non-striking Crock Pot lovers just in time for fall! It's really easy and makes a ton (almost fills my pot). It freezes well though, so you can divide it into smaller portions and save it for later if you don't need to feed an army :)

White Chicken Chili

1 onion, chopped

4 cloves garlic, minced

3-4 boneless skinless chicken breasts, trimmed (or you can put them in frozen)

2 (14.5 oz) cans chicken broth

1 (4 oz) can diced green chile peppers (omit if you want to keep it really mild)

1 can cream chicken soup

1 can black beans, drained

1 can northern beans, drained

1 can corn, drained

1/2 cup salsa

2 teaspoons ground cumin

2 teaspoons dried oregano

1 teaspoon chili pepper (or cayenne pepper for more heat)

shredded cheddar or monterey jack cheese

tortilla chips

- Add all ingredients (except cheese and chips) to slow cooker. Give it a stir.

- Cook on low 8 hours. Chicken should shred easily when it's done.

- Serve with cheese and tortilla chips. Yum!

*Stovetop directions: Precook and chop chicken and add to ingredients in large pot. Simmer 20-30 minutes. I don't think the flavor is quite as good and I also prefer the chicken being shredded.

going postal

2011-09-14T22:25:00.001-04:00

My little crochet business has been keeping my busy. I've had a pretty consistent flow of orders through my shop and friends. As much as I can, I try to just put stamps on large envelopes and mail orders from home. Sometimes, however, I'm forced to go to the dreaded post office. Seriously. I doubt that the post office is a joyful experience for anyone, but I've got Mean Mary (the regular Monroe PO worker who is almost always in a bad mood) and two squirmy kids working against me.

Yesterday, I actually carried Owen in in his baby carrier (which he is totally about to max out of) so that I could forego the extra step of unbuckling and trying to carry him. So I lug all 40 lbs of him and his carseat on one arm all the while attempting to keep Anna from running under the bumper of a moving car in the parking lot. Then, we get inside and have to keep her from flipping Owen over while attempting to deter her from pulling handfuls of envelopes out of the display. And Mean Mary is sighing and giving me the death star the whole time.

This shouldn't be so difficult.

I just want to ship a blanket!

Now, my arm hurts and I feel like this errand has set the pace for our whole day. What should be like a three minute errand has turned into a 40 minute ordeal. Okay, maybe it's more like 10, but it sure FEELS like a long time.

And here's the solution: Drive Thru Post Office! Come on people, it's not exactly a revolutionary idea. Stupid post office. I wonder, do they have these in Louisville??

I want to go to there.

ostrich

2011-09-12T15:19:00.001-04:00

I don't like change. I'm not spontaneous. I like to know what's coming. I like to know the end of books and movies so I can prepare myself for what's coming. It's all self preservation really. I hate getting attached to characters if they're going to end up dying. Then, I'll just be sad and I'd rather avoid that if possible. That's kind of my approach in life. I would have tried my hardest not to make great friends here 5 years ago if I'd known we would eventually move. Good thing God knows better. He throws a curveball every now and then to remind me that I'M not in control.

I'm pretty even keeled. I don't really get worked up about much and I try not to worry until I have to. And sometimes when there are really big things on the horizon or situations that have the potential to be stressful, I just pretend that nothing is happening. Like an ostrich, I stick my head in the stand and pretend everything is normal. The only problem to this approach is that something IS happening and eventually I'll have to look around (or starve or be eaten by something I suppose). I think that up until about two weeks ago I was just pretending that nothing in my life was changing because whenever I would acknowledge it I'd get really sad. Now, that our move is public knowledge and coming very soon it's harder to do that. I'm faced daily with a growing pile of packed boxes in my living room which is hard to ignore.

One of my biggest fears is that I will get to Louisville and miss my friends so much that I'll actually just shut them all out to save myself some pain. Does that even make sense? Like, it would be easier not to know about everyone else's lives going on as normal without me. I'll just go dark. I've already felt myself pulling away. Again, self preservation. If I can convince myself that I'm not really that great of friends with people then it'll be a ton easier to move. Get me?

All that to say, I need to remain being intentional even if it's going to hurt. I also need YOU to be intentional with me even if it seems like I'm pulling away. Press to be a part of my life and encourage me to be a part of yours - no matter what zip code we're in. Remind me that God is in control here and that he has orchestrated all of this for HIS kingdom, not mine. He is going to use this to stretch and grow Kevin and I. And remind me that Kevin and I are making a sacrifice so it's normal that it's a little painful. No one said that being obedient to Christ was always going to be easy. But we're not without hope. There are great new things on the horizon and I'm actually starting to look forward with joy instead of burying my head here.

I'm a fan of.....

2011-09-09T08:14:00.001-04:00

Homedics Soundspa Lullaby sound machine and projector

When Anna was 6 months old we bought her this sound machine/projector. You can get it for under $20 on amazon. We were going to Minnesota for family vacation and knew we'd be sharing a tiny room with her for three whole weeks. We were afraid that the sound of Kevin's snoring (loud!) might wake her up so we took a chance on the sound machine to drown out any extraneous noise. It worked like a charm and she's been using it ever since. The projector stopped rotating a while ago, but the light itself still works and it's a great nightlight. It's become part of her routine to "turn on the moon" when it's time to go night night. This girl is all about routine, so even though she doesn't really need it anymore, we're still rockin' it :)

warm welcome

2011-09-07T22:55:00.001-04:00

I have plenty of anxieties about moving to Louisville, but the last few days have been super encouraging. We have received such a warm welcome from the folks at Sojourn that I'm definitely feeling more at ease and dare I say - excited - about our move. I'm grateful to all of the women who have messaged or called me with words of encouragement and offers for prayer. I'm still pretty sad about moving away from the amazing women that I am privileged to call dear friends here, but the sting is a little less knowing that there are fantastic women in Louisville too :) Check out this box of "all things Louisville" that Sojourn sent back with Kevin after a meeting down there! So thoughtful and so fun! Guess there's no such thing as too much Fleur de lis if you're in Louisville. Love it.

And here's Owen in the new "502" shirt they sent for him - Louisville's area code in case you didn't pick up on that :) And how handsome is my husband? seriously.

loving your friend through infertility

2011-09-06T08:29:00.001-04:00

I'm guest posting over at Jackie's blog today. This week she's wrapping up her series, "Loving Your Friend Through Infertility." Hop on over there and check it out!

what's a few more weeks?

2011-09-05T18:52:00.001-04:00

I've been meaning to post this, but couldn't really explain until I had officially announced that we're moving! So, now I can. Are you on the edge of your seat? okay. Anna is not potty trained and still sleeps in her crib. There. I said it.

Before having children (and probably up until about 6 months ago) I was sure that my child would be potty training by the age of 2 and probably out of their crib. Now, potty training her before the age of 5 seems like a monumental task. We haven't pushed it because she's so traumatized by going #2. The doctor as well as Jackie (whose opinion I might trust more than the dr :) said that it's not a big deal and that we shouldn't rush her because it'll just end up taking longer if she's not ready. Which I totally believe. She's so darn stubborn that if we try to force her before she wants to she may NEVER want to do it on her own! Aside from that, we've received some good advice that we probably shouldn't try to train her before the big move because there's a good chance she'll regress at that point anyway. It kind of makes me feel like a bad mom, though, when I know people who have kids that are significantly younger than her and are totally trained. Moms, this is your opportunity to speak up and tell me your stories of your 2.5+ year old that wasn't potty trained and turned out just fine - go!

And the crib. Kevin and I had the brilliant idea to go ahead and transition her convertible crib to a toddler bed and try to get her used to it before we moved because her new room is upstairs. We thought it might be a good idea to get her trained to stay in her bed here instead of there where she might fall and kill herself in the middle of the night. Makes sense, right? So, I took it upon myself to convert the bed while Kevin was out sermonizing to save him some work. Right. Then, I broke the bed. oops. So much for less work. I brought in the Pack 'n Play for her to sleep in until he fixed it. But even after he put it back together, she refuses to sleep in it. I keep putting her blankets and toys in and she keeps moving them back to the pack 'n play! Remember this? Yeah, now it's all stuffed in a pack 'n play. Oh, girl.

At this point, potty training and big girl bed training are on hold, at least until we get settled in Louisville. You are now free to proceed with encouraging comments.....

changes

2011-09-04T22:02:00.003-04:00

Big changes on the horizon. Many of you already know this, but today it's official - Kevin has accepted a job with Sojourn Community Church and we're moving to Louisville. Sojourn has had a tremendous influence on The Oaks and last year they launched the Sojourn Network – a church-planting network under the umbrella of Acts 29. As you can imagine, this was not an easy decision, but after sharing this opportunity with the elders and some close friends, and TONS of prayer, we're confident that it is God's will that we go. It would be easier to stay but not obedient.

It has been Kevin's dream to plant a church since he was about 16. About a year or so ago, he realized that he actually did it - we actually did it - God actually did it! But then the next thought was, "now what??" If you know Kevin at all you know that he is a dreamer. A visionary. A great leader. So, this question wasn't about being discontent, it was about forging ahead down a new path for the Kingdom. We started talking about where we saw ourselves going and he laid out his dream job for me. And here we are a year later - contract signed for that job. It's as if God knew. Like HE created such a perfect position. Oh, wait.... He did.

In his new role as a pastor at their East campus, he'll get to develop his preaching and will also get to devote a portion of time to working with church planters - two of his passions. Additionally, he will be able to pursue a Master's degree from Southern Seminary and grow in shepherding and pastoring both a church and our family as he learns from some of the best.

The Oaks is strong. There great leaders in place and our absence will allow two more full-time staff to come aboard, which is sure to have an amazing impact on the ministry of The Oaks. We leave with confidence that it's not just our family that is going to benefit but The Oaks as well. The thought of moving is hard. I've wrestled through it a lot. I've cried a good bit. And although we've been praying and processing for months, things are really starting to get real now. Our last Sunday at The Oaks is October 9th and we move the week after!

Pray for our family. Pray for The Oaks. Pray for the folks at Sojourn. Pray for me as I try to pack our house over the next few weeks and move to a new city where I know very few people. Pray for Kevin as he starts his new job. God is good and he does good. Pray that we can reflect that and glorify His name through this transition.

10 months

2011-08-31T08:14:00.001-04:00

Owen turned 10 months while we were on vacation. He's growing up SO much! He's pretty much sleeping through the night again which makes me very happy:) He has six visible teeth now (not sure what else is in there) and I'm pretty confident that he eats more in total volume per day than Anna. In the past week he's taken a few "steps" crawling, but seems to prefer creeping on his belly which he can do incredibly quickly. He can get from his belly to a sitting position by himself which is great but a little strange for me. I'm not used to walking into his room and finding him sitting up in his bed!

He's always been pretty attached to me, but it's become pretty dramatic this month. He's a constant whiner and screamer if I'm not holding him or leave his sight. I love that he loves me, but it makes it hard to get anything done and he really needs to learn to be away from me. I welcome your advice and your prayers for me as we figure out how to do that!

love their faces here. and Owen's hair is almost as blonde as Anna's now!

a few more from the beach

2011-08-30T15:30:00.000-04:00

Here are a few more pictures from our trip. I didn't have my camera at the beach. These were from my mom's camera. Thanks, mom!

family!

holding hands with daddy :)

my favorite men

a little snuggle after being in the water

family vacation

2011-08-28T14:48:00.004-04:00

I know I've been a bit MIA, but I'm back - we've had a lot going on! I'll do my best to catch you up over the next week or so. Put on your seatbelt! :)

Last week we went on our first real vacation as a family of four. My mom came along too and my dad even managed to step away from work to stay with us for a few days. It was wonderful. Kevin's family has gone to northern Minnesota for years and my family always did Myrtle Beach. We didn't think we wanted to commit to the long car ride that either of those would require this year. We kind of struck a compromise between Minnesota and the ocean by taking a chance on a new location that we've heard great things about - Lake Michigan! We went to South Haven, Michigan, which is about a 5 1/2 hour drive. Even that was a bit of a stretch for us. I have a LOT of respect for those of you that travel cross-country with wee ones. Owen was pretty fussy, but Anna did great. She was content watching shows on our borrowed dvd player.

It was a wonderful trip. I can't believe that neither of us had been to Lake Michigan before. After this trip Kevin and I both agreed that we may never vacation at the ocean again. Our trip to South Haven had all the perks of an ocean trip without the salt and things that might sting you in the water! The water was great and the sand was perfect. And the temperature never got above 85 so it wasn't sweltering. If I didn't have two little ones to chase around, I could've laid on that beach all day :)

We rented a four bedroom house that was just a few minutes walk from the beach. It worked out really well for us after we got past the first night when I woke up to the sound of a BAT flying around our room!! bah! Kevin spent about and hour trying to get it out of the house (my hero!) I slept with the kids.

Anna really liked playing in the sand and Owen liked to eat the sand. haha. She was really hesitant to get in the water until the very last day when she got brave and went out on Kevin's shoulders and eventually walked in the water with him and Mimi.

When we weren't at the beach we only had to walk a few minutes to a really great playground. Anna wasn't as impressed by the "fort" part of it as we were. She just wanted to swing and go down the slides. Owen liked that part too.

One day we took a break from the beach and drove south to St. Joseph where they have a really cool fountain. Owen watched from the stroller while Anna enjoyed it with daddy.

Here are just a few of the great landscape shots that Kevin took.

It was great to have Kevin all to ourselves for a whole week. I think the kids had a really great time with him - and I did too!

redesign

2011-08-14T18:26:00.000-04:00

The ol' bloggy is under construction. I'm getting a new header and buttons and such. I think it's going to be fun when it's done, but in the meantime things are going to be a little wonky. Stay tuned!

celebrating the Schicks!

2011-08-07T20:40:00.001-04:00

Grayson and Carlie's wedding was yesterday and we were honored to celebrate with them. Kevin was a groomsman and Anna was the flower girl. We planned in advance for Kevin to walk (or carry if need be) Anna down the aisle because we knew she'd be too shy to make the trip solo. I hadn't thought about it, but then Kevin pointed out that the next time he walked her down the aisle in a white dress he'd be giving her away at her own wedding. Tear!! She did SO well. Austin Neal captured the first pic of them walking and I shot the second after the ceremony.

The beautiful bride

The Schicks!

And a few more fun shots from the evening....

little dragon

2011-08-04T15:18:00.000-04:00

I was really pleased with how this little hat turned out and had to share. I used a photo from Etsy for inspiration and part of the free pattern from Red Heart for the top part - I guess you'd call them scales? I'll definitely be adding this one to my shop soon.

on our own

2011-08-03T15:09:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was our last day with Carlie. She's getting married on Saturday (!) and will start student teaching just days after returning from her honeymoon so she won't be babysitting for us anymore. I cannot begin to explain how wonderful it was having her work for us for the past 7 months. Being able to spend extended periods of solitude, grocery shop, and run errands seemed like impossible tasks back in January. Some days they still do, but I'm confident that God's timing was perfect in making her available to us and also in calling her away in this next stage of life. There's a HUGE difference in me and my kids. I only feel like I'm going to lose my mind about once a day instead of twenty :) It'll be especially nice when this 90 degree weather finally breaks and we can play outside again! Carlie asked Anna to be the flower girl so stay tuned for some pics of her and the beautiful bride!

trying something new

2011-08-01T13:42:00.000-04:00

I've never been much of a baker or a cook. I take solace in the fact that I crochet. That counts for something, right?? I only started cooking when I was pregnant with Anna. I guess I was "nesting" (though Kevin HATES that phrase).

I feel like I've been in survival mode for about the last 9 months (okay, maybe a year if you count the last few months of pregnancy). I'm completely amazed that some of my friends with small children can shop for and prepare meals that have more than 5 ingredients and 3 steps to prep. Curry is one of those and she recently encouraged me to try this recipe for beef and snow peas from The Pioneer Woman.

Beef and Snow Peas (photo from The Pioneer Woman)

I'll be honest - I'm not a follower of PW. Mostly because I've been too intimidated. Turns out, some of her stuff is actually possible for people like me to cook once I figure out what all the ingredients are and where to get them! Curry definitely had to give me a tutorial on what shallots were last week and my friend (and new kitchen/craft/parenting resource) Melissa had to help me figure out where to buy snow peas and fresh ginger. Ah, yes. The ginger. Thank you, Kroger, for mixing up the labels for ginger and horseradish. A novice cook like me doesn't know the difference! At least I realized it before I mixed it in the dish! whew. That was close. I had to send my husband back for the real thing. Anyway, three grocery trips later and a smoky kitchen caused by too much oil in the pan (Mike Winters stopped by just in time to save dinner), we were able to try it. Not bad! My version didn't look nearly as pretty as PW's, but it was edible so I'll file that under SUCCESS :)

home makeover

2011-07-28T15:30:00.002-04:00

We're not completely done with all of our outside house projects, but I wanted to post some before and after pics before I totally forgot. This was our major project while Kevin was taking his mini-sabbatical. We've hated the color of our house since we bought it back in 2006. Thanks again to my mom and dad who came in to help us out!! The house looks a TON better!

goodbye ugly brown

hello fresh paint!

still needs some mulch, but a vast improvement!

boomerang

2011-07-25T14:13:00.000-04:00

We had a good run, but we knew this day would come. We've reached that stage in parenting where we have to watch everything we say because there's a 2 1/2 year old roaming around waiting to repeat it later. If you ever wonder what kind of things you say ALL the time, just hang out with a 2 year old for a few days and they'll remind you!

A few weeks ago Kevin was reading books with Anna. As she brought him one from the shelf (that he really didn't like) he sighed something to the effect of, "ugh. I hate that stupid book," to which she promptly responded, "stupid book. stupid book." Oops. He quickly realized his error and covered with, "I mean, I love that SUPER book. Super." haha. Luckily, she bought it. That time.

Over the past month or so she's put, "I don't like it!" into regular rotation. She says it to just about everything - even if she does like it. She'll say she doesn't like Word World or even pizza if she's being stubborn and has her mind set on something else. This is when I first realized how much I was teaching her by my word choices. If she was being unruly I would often say, "I don't like it when you: throw your cup, yell, spit your food out...." I didn't realize at the time what I was saying until she threw it back at me :( Boomerang!

I've tried to be more intentional and aware of my word choices with her since then, but I'm still learning. Things I think are harmless suddenly come smacking me in the face when they come back at me from HER. The one that hit me yesterday was, "I don't care!" I was trying to change her diaper and she was fighting me. I told her she needed to lay down and she yelled, "I don't care! I don't care!" I know that she got it from me because that has been my go-to response to her mantra of, "I don't like it." sheesh.

I've been really challenged to try to say what I really mean and not just throw words around. I was also encouraged by another chapter in "Living The Little Years" where the author talks about words. She says that her and her husband tell their little ones that words are like large kitchen knives. They're useful tools in the kitchen, but if you're not experienced enough to use them you can hurt yourself or others with them. I think that's such a great analogy. Saying that you don't like something isn't all bad, but you can't just throw it around.

9 months

2011-07-23T08:14:00.000-04:00

We don't go to the doctor for another week or so, but I know that Owen is at least 21 lbs and feels every bit of it! His hair is turning quite blonde and it gets really cute and curly in the humidity - so, pretty much all the time :)

He's learning how to move from sitting to laying on his belly without doing a complete faceplant and can get himself into a "tripod" position that I think should transition him to crawling soon. His second tooth on the top FINALLY came through about two days ago (I think you can almost see them in the first pic). It caused him (and ME) a lot of discomfort while it was pushing through for over a month :/ The Winters' are letting us borrow their Johnny Jump-Up door swing and Owen seems to really like it. Anna never really caught on to the jumping bit, but he's a fan and can really get himself going.

He'll eat just about anything including Chipotle and loves to put things in his mouth. He's taking two naps (about 90 min each) and goes to bed around 6:30. He's still waking up around 5/5:30 for a feeding, but then goes back to sleep til about 7. I suppose if I was really disciplined I would just stay up then, but it just seems SO early. I have a ton of respect for those of you that do it. Maybe I'll get my butt in gear soon!

I'm a fan of.....

2011-07-22T14:35:00.000-04:00

Evenflo High Chair

I finished feeding Owen yesterday, and then Anna crawled up into the seat for her turn. We've got her pretty much transitioned to sitting at the table now, but sometimes she still likes to sit in the high chair - which I don't mind because it's easier to clean up! As I was sitting there I realized that our high chair is probably the MOST used baby item that we have, aside from their beds. It's been in constant use, mulitiple times a day, since Anna was about 4 months old!

I don't think we actually registered for a high chair (not sure why) but Clay and Audrey brought it to us as a surprise gift just after Anna was born. Nice job, Davis's! I know that some of you are big fans of the small seat that goes on a regular chair, but we didn't feel comfortable putting one of those on our IKEA chairs that aren't super sturdy. Even though it's pretty big and takes up a bit of space in our small kitchen I'm glad that we went with the actual high chair because Anna's been known to get rockin' in it. I don't think they make the one we have anymore, but I linked to the newer version which you can get for about $70.

Just for fun, here's a lineup of pictures taken in the high chair - as you can see, it's been through a lot and it's still standing strong! :)

and you thought all I did was make baby stuff...

2011-07-17T15:17:00.000-04:00

Seemed like time to post a crochet update. Even though it's a million degrees outside, it's still a cool 72 in my house, so my crocheting hasn't slowed down :) Our babysitter and dear friend, Carlie, is getting married in a few weeks and we got to celebrate with her at a shower this weekend. I wanted to make her something and after seeing some fun things on Etsy and Pinterest I decided to make a set of coasters, some dishcloths, and some hotpads. (Click on the links for the patterns.)

The hotpads were something that I've been wanting to try for a while. I was able to make four out of one full size sheet (one oval and three circle). They worked up really fast with a size 13 hook (that's HUGE), but they KILLED my arms. I felt like such a baby because I was almost in tears that night as I lay in bed with what felt like shin splints in my forearms. Crocheting is hard work! haha

When I was finished, I tied them up with leftover material from the hotpads and added cute tags cut from some cards I had. Packaging and presentation is clutch in gift giving :) I think everything turned out pretty well!

fat souls

2011-07-15T23:10:00.002-04:00

As promised, here are a few more thoughts from "Loving The Little Years" by Rachel Jankovic. In one of the chapters she describes the constant tension between maintaining order and cleanliness in the home while still nurturing your children's spirit. Small children often want to be helpers and it can be really difficult to actually give in and let them "help" knowing that it will probably cause you more work later. Jankovic describes one of these times with her own children when they all gathered into the kitchen to "help" make dinner. She points out that she'll keep the fun memory of that messy moment with her children, not the clean-up that it required. In the end, she says, "Fat souls are better than clean floors." I should probably have that framed in giant letters to keep as a constant reminder. I want my kids to look back and remember me being IN their lives, not just cleaning up after them. I could go on about this, but a few of my fellow bloggers have already posted some great thoughts related to this and I don't have much more to add. Check out their great posts, here here and here.

Here's what I do have to add to the conversation. Nurturing the soul's of our children is an important calling. An even more important calling is nurturing our own soul. How can we pour out on our children what we're not filled with ourselves? Over the past week, I've been working to fatten my soul. I've been reminded of the encounter that Jesus had with sisters Mary and Martha. Martha was busy serving in the kitchen and frustrated because Mary wasn't helping. She was just sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to him. When Martha complained, Jesus answered, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her." Now, that's a kick in the pants.

This week choosing the good portion meant letting the crumbs lay on the floor under the high chair for 20 more minutes when the stars aligned and my kids were both napping one day. Another day it meant letting them watch a show in the living room while I drank my coffee and read the Bible in the kitchen. On that particular day, after my 20 minutes was up, I went out to check on them and found this.

I thought I had put the box of cereal out of her reach, but apparently she found a way to get it down and help herself. At least she shared with Owen too, eh? A small price to pay for a few moments in the Word.

1983

2011-07-14T15:52:00.001-04:00

One of Kevin's uncles recently had a bunch of their old family photos digitized and passed on a copy to us. They're really great. Some of my favorites are of Kevin's dad and brothers when they were young boys. I'll post a few of those later, but in the meantime I thought I'd share this gem of Kevin and Kyle circa 1983. Commence laughter :)

read this - Loving The Little Years

2011-07-10T20:28:00.002-04:00

I've been meaning to write a post telling you to read "Loving The Little Years" by Rachel Jankovic for a few weeks now. My friend, Jill, posted about it on her blog a while back, which peaked my interest. Before I even mentioned it to Kevin, he ordered it for me after reading a few tweets highly praising and recommending it. Guess it was meant to be!

I LOVED it and have brought it up in conversation tons of times already. In fact, I'm sure you'll see more posts here in reference to it as I continue to process through it's short contents. It's just over 100 pages, but packs a punch. Perfect for busy moms! I loved the style that it was written in, kind of like a series of blog posts. The author is the mother of five children ages 5, 4, 2 year old twins, and a 5 month old. Phew!

Jankovic is a master of analogy. Almost every chapter has some sort of illustration to really bring her point home. She often left me nodding along, like, "yeah! That is SO true!" Those are the kinds of things that stick with me. She describes the challenges of motherhood with humor and cheer, but in the end always takes it back to the gospel, getting to the heart. I appreciated her attitude of not taking herself too seriously, while taking sin very seriously.

I was so drawn in by the back cover (below) that I couldn't wait to start reading. I finished the book in two sittings and will surely go back and read it again. If you're a mom of little ones, I highly recommend reading this one. I think you'll be glad you did.

I didn't write this book because mothering little ones is easy for me. I wrote it because it isn't. I know that this is a hard job, because I am right here in the middle of it. I know you need encouragement because I do too.

This is not a tender reminiscence from someone who had children so long ago that she only remembers the sweet parts. At the time of writing this, I have three children in diapers, and I can recognize the sound of hundreds of toothpicks being dumped out in the hall.

This is a small collection of thoughts on mothering young children for when you are motivated, for when you are discouraged, for the times when discipline seems fruitless, and for when you are just plain old tired.

The opportunities for growth abound here but you have to be willing. You have to open your heart to the tumble. As you deal with your children, deal with yourself always and first. This is what it looks like, and feels like, to walk as a mother with God.

just a girl and her elephant

2011-07-10T08:46:00.000-04:00

didn't want those of you who don't follow me on fb and twitter to feel left out. Nana got Anna a new pet. So fabulous.

WEEDS: no garden beyond repair

2011-07-08T08:14:00.028-04:00

Every analogy breaks down somewhere. This one has plenty of holes and really falls apart at the point that our entire side yard had to be forfeited because we couldn't tell what was a weed and what was a plant and the shrubs seemed mangled beyond repair. Fortunately, God is a much better gardener than I am!

He never looks at the sin that entangles me and throws up his hands, claiming defeat. I am never beyond His mercy and His grace. I will never be so far gone that He can't transform me. I may want to surrender to the weeds, but He is always in control and he will continue to change me if continue to draw near to him.

Hebrews 4:16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Be encouraged, this battle is not in vain. It can be frustrating to see the same weeds popping up over and over again, but don't lose heart. Every time we confess our sins, repent (turn away and change course), and believe in the gospel we're one step further in the journey toward holiness. When we lean on His power and continue to fight for holiness, we will find Him.

Hebrews 12:1 let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

1 Cor. 3:7 - So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.

Rev 21:5 - And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new."

Gal 5:1 - It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened by a yoke of slavery.

WEEDS: unrelentless liars

2011-07-07T08:16:00.004-04:00

Giant weeds don't just spring up over night. They start small. They usually seem harmless - until they're left to their own devices. Left untreated, they can quickly take over everything - like in my yard. Weeds can grow so large that they can easily be mistaken for real flowers and shrubs. They wrap themselves around other plants and can literally choke them to death.

Sin and idolatry have a similar affect on the heart. It's rare that someone falls into scandalous sin over night. It's generally a slow process, making small compromises here and there. For example, I'm pretty sure that most people who cheat on their spouses don't just wake up one morning and say, "you know what? I'm going to commit adultery today." Generally, what started as "innocent" flirting or drawn out time together grew into an emotional affair which then crossed over to a physical affair. Once we begin dipping our toes into the pool of sin it's only a matter of time before we're drowning. Soon, it becomes difficult to distinguish truth from lies as sin begins to take authority. This is why we must be alert and vigilant. Scripture paints several pictures of this:

1 Peter 5:8 - Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Eph 5:15-16 - Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

One of the lies that I let creep is that I deserve ________. I know I'm not alone here. This sense of entitlement can be incredibly dangerous and our world feeds it to us day in and day out. We are told that we deserve materials, comfort, health, wealth, beauty, etc. You work hard, you should get what you want. Wrong. When that becomes your reality it becomes easier and easier to turn your back to the truth. You start to think, "yeah, you know what? I DO deserve that." And before you know you're making compromises to Christ, readily choosing sin over him. This can be manifested in a myriad of ways including (but certainly not limited to) picking a fight with your spouse because they're not acting the way you think they should, spending money you don't have, or wasting your time. Romans 1:25 speaks clearly to this.

"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator"

We must regularly tend the garden of our soul, ruthlessly battling sin and uprooting lies. As John Owen said, "Be killing sin, or sin will be killing you." My soul requires regular time with Jesus (the true gardener). When I don't show up for a long time, weeds start to creep in. Before I know it, my life is more centered around the weeds than it is around Jesus. It would be so silly to water a weed, but that's essentially what I do with my idols at times. I feed them. When I make the choice to sit in front of my tv or computer instead of at the feet of Jesus, I'm tending weeds instead of quenching my spirit. I think that I know what's better for me than Jesus.

When I don't spend time in the Word for days (or weeks) at a time I start to believe that maybe being a good mom and a good wife is enough. I can go through the motions and life isn't all that bad. That is until I fail at something and find myself wallowing in failure and guilt because my justification is found in the absolute wrong place. When my identity is in Christ, screwing up dinner isn't such a big deal anymore. When I embrace Him as the gardener, my soul will flourish.

WEEDS: getting to the root

2011-07-06T09:21:00.004-04:00

After all of that hard work with my parents I went outside a week or so later and was astonished to see crops of new weeds popping up. Bah! I was so frustrated, but knew that I didn't really have anyone to blame but myself. I'm usually pretty lazy when I'm pulling weeds. I just break off what I can see above the surface. No wonder they come back so quickly. They really need to be pulled at the root (and sprayed with weed killer!)

I tend to treat my sin in the same way. The business of self reflection is hard work. It's time consuming and usually brings to light things that I'd rather stay buried, but it's SO necessary. I can't just treat surface sins without identifying the root - or the sin behind the sin. Treating only the surface sin can cause to a life of legalism and rules.

Here's an example. Lately, I've been really impatient with my kids. I'm always rushing them around (not sure where I need to be in such a hurry) and I'm easily frustrated. When Anna won't listen and my blood pressure is really rising, I raise my voice. Not something I'm proud of and definitely not the appropriate solution. Now, I could commit to not yelling at my kids and call it a day, but that wouldn't really get to the root of the problem. Until I address the heart issue, I'll continue to set myself (and my kids) up for failure because they will inevitably frustrate me again (probably within the next 5 minutes) and I'll get impatient and feel guilty all over again. The sin behind the sin of my impatience and sharp tongue is pride and a desire for control. I treat my kids like they are inconveniences to my routine rather than blessings in my life. How dare they slow me down?! Don't they know how important I am and that I have a system for the way things run around here?! That's the weed that has to be pulled first before treating the other symptoms.

The process of sanctification (growing in holiness) is slow and steady, not a race. And even though we might be able to kill weeds in the garden once and for all (though I haven't been able to) fighting sin in our lives will be a lifelong battle. More on that tomorrow!

WEEDS: functional saviors and the garden of the soul

2011-07-05T21:57:00.001-04:00

A few weeks ago, my parents were in town and helped us do some major weeding outside (along with lots of other stuff that I promise I'll post pics of soon!) We didn't realize how overgrown the weeds in our side yard had gotten until it was time to clean them up. My dad brought a handy trimmer/saw and a weed eater and we (okay, HE) went to work.

I immediately started drawing connections between weeds and sin. Not a stretch. Basically, the weeds are our idols or "functional saviors". Functional saviors are the things that we put in place of God in the belief that they will lead to true fulfillment. When we think or say things like, "When I just have ______, then I will finally be complete," we're relying on a functional savior. For brevity's sake, I'll refer to my side yard as a "garden" (even though we know it's far from that!) The garden is our soul. And Jesus is the true gardener.

I've been processing this for a few weeks now, but my thoughts tend to get a little jumbled in the spilling out process. Hopefully you'll be able to make some sense of it all! After I was finished and saw the length of my chalkboarding word vomit I heard Jackie's voice chiding me to split it over a few shorter posts, so that's what you get. There should be very little scrolling involved :) Stay tuned for some more thoughts on the nature of weeds.

Happy 4th of July :)

2011-07-04T17:07:00.000-04:00

Kevin was in northern MN fishing with some men from The Oaks last week and I took the kids to visit family in Zanesville. We both had good trips, but it's great to be back home together. So far, we've been celebrating the 4th with a little family naptime (that NEVER happens!) and later we're grilling out steaks for dinner. In an ironic twist, this happens to be the last day of Kevin's mini-sabbatical. Let freedom ring......until tomorrow, then it's back to reality ;)

new life for my old chairs

2011-07-03T16:17:00.002-04:00

I've been getting antsy to do some updates/decorating, but didn't want to invest too much time or money on a project. I settled on rearranging some furniture and reupholstering the chairs for our kitchen table after I came across this tutorial using the same ikea chairs that I have. I was a little concerned that the fabric choice might be a bit much (mostly for Kevin), but I think they turned out great! They bring some new life to our kitchen/dining room and Kevin really likes them. Not too bad for less than $5 of fabric and an hour of work! And since Anna has graduated to sitting at the table, I'm hoping that the print will hide future spills :) If not, at least I know how to recover them now!

from boring and stained ...

to fresh and fun!

I'm a fan of.....

2011-06-24T09:57:00.002-04:00

mesh feeders

My sister-in-law, Heather, is fantastic. I have been so blessed to have her as a go-to for mommy questions. She's given me great advice for just about everything from projectile vomit, fevers, and tantrums to diapering, teething and feeding. She has been an invaluable resource and I'm lucky to have her walking a few steps ahead of me (and six doors down the street!)

Owen has been a bit cranky lately. His transition to solid foods has left his belly hurting and on top of that his top two teeth have been hanging out just below the gums for a few weeks now. Apparently, they don't have the same sense of urgency that I do. Since Owen won't eat anything pureed from a spoon it has been difficult for me to find things to give him to ease his constipation. I was frustrated and out of ideas. Enter Heather. She suggested putting some frozen fruit in the mesh feeder and giving it to him. That way he has the independence of self-feeding while the coldness will ease his teething pain and he'll get some fruit juice to help his belly. Brilliant. He LOVES it and it almost immediately relieved some of his tummy troubles.

I currently have two mesh feeders. Heather let me use one back with Anna (which I still had and forgot about), and Curry brought me one because I forgot about Heather's. haha. There are tons of options to choose from. I think I like the one from Curry (white/green in pic) a little better because it's easier to put together and the handle is easier for Owen to hold onto. Both get the job done though - as you can see :)

8 months

2011-06-20T14:10:00.000-04:00

Check out those teeth! Unfortunately, he's been using them to bite :/ Anna never did that and I don't like it! Yowza. He's right around the 20 lb. mark. He's been a little crabby because his top two teeth are just below the gums and his belly seems to be bothering him due to the change in his diet. He skipped straight over baby food/purees and is eating table food cut up really small. He did share some yogurt with Anna the other day, so at least I know he CAN eat from a spoon - he just doesn't want to :)

He's napping 2-3 times a day depending on when he wakes up and he's sleeping through the night (most of the time) which is amazing. Anna didn't sleep completely through the night until she almost 11 months old so this is a real treat!

He loves to sit and play as long as mommy is in the room. He's become very clingy and does not like for me to be out of his sight, which is slightly endearing, but mostly frustrating after a whole day ;) He's finding his voice and has been making all kinds of funny noises that I think surprise him. He makes a face like, "where did that come from??" He likes the pool once he gets used to the temp of the water and gets a kick out of splashing with his feet.

a little funny for your Friday

2011-06-17T09:55:00.000-04:00

During Owen's first nap of the day, I try to sit with Anna and give her my undivided attention. This morning after she kissed him "nigh' nigh'" she wanted to go outside and play with chalk. Good choice. It's perfect outside. After a little coloring I had her lay on the driveway and traced her whole body. She got a real kick out of seeing her outline and when I was done immediately starting saying, "you turn mommy!"

So, I laid down and let her "trace" me next. She doesn't have quite the control for that, so it's just a few lines here and there. Every time I would try to sit up, she'd gently push me back down and say, "no done mommy. Back down." So, I laid in our driveway for about 20 minutes, sneaking up every now and then to sip my coffee. Not the worst way to spend a beautiful morning.

A few cars drove by and she would turn and wave at them like she always does. I didn't pay much attention, but then I heard idling and a woman's voice calling out, "are you okay??" I looked up and she had pulled over to check on me! She said she drove by once and saw Anna sitting there next to me and then she just felt like she had to come back and check, so she drove around the block to drive by again! When I was still laying there she was concerned. Haha. She laughed when I told her what we were up to and also complimented us on all the work we've been doing on our house. Nice to know someone might stop by at 9am if I really was incapacitated in my driveway with my toddler looking on :)

I couldn't stop laughing after she drove away and Anna kept saying, "why you silly, mommy??" Oh, how I wish she could have understood the humor. Hope you got a chuckle. Happy Friday!!

banana goodness

2011-06-11T08:16:00.012-04:00

Chocolate banana cake and banana coffeecake are two of Kevin's most favorite things. He had the coffeecake at the Russell's house and came home raving about it, telling me I HAD to get the recipe. I make it quite a bit now. Thanks, Amber! I was going to make it for his birthday breakfast, but the kids weren't being cooperative, so we had another of his faves instead - McDonald's :)

I found the original recipe for the doctored cake mix at kraftfoods.com. It's a banana cake with homemade cream cheese frosting, but Kevin said he'd rather just have it with store bought chocolate frosting. Hard to argue with that! It's delicious and easy, just the way I like it :) The original recipe also gives instructions for how to make it into a layer cake. I've never done that. We just stick to the 9x13.

Chocolate Banana Cake

1 pkg. yellow cake mix
1 cup mashed ripe bananas (about 3)
1 cup sour cream
3 eggs
1/4 cup oil
1 container chocolate frosting

- Preheat oven to 350
- beat all ingredient (except frosting of course) with a mixer on low until moistened. Then, beat on medium 2 minutes and pour into greased 9x13.
- bake 35 min or until toothpick comes out clean.
- allow to cool completely before frosting

Amber Russell's Banana Coffee Cake

1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup flour

cut butter into flour and sugar (should be crumbly), set aside 1/2 cup for crumb topping

1 cup flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp baking soda
2 beaten eggs
2 ripe bananas mashed
1/4 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla

- heat oven to 375
- stir together flour, baking powder, salt, cinn, and baking soda. stir into butter mixture (not the 1/2 half cup)
- combine eggs, banana, milk,and vanilla.** stir just until mixed. spread into a greased round or 8x8 pan.
- sprinkle top with the reserved 1/2 cup crumb topping mixture.
- bake for 25-30 min or until toothpick comes out clean

** tip: whenever I make anything that calls for mashed bananas, I put them in a large ziploc bag and mash. It's the easiest and least messy way I've found. After the bananas are mashed I add in any other wet ingredients to save myself a bowl! Now, Anna is my "squish squish" helper. I can just give her the bag and she goes to town. She loves that part.

it's my best friend's birthday

2011-06-10T09:06:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday, Kevin! I'm so glad that you were born 30 years ago today and that God brought us together. I could not have asked for a more amazing best friend and husband. Thank you for who you are to me, our children, and so many others. Our lives are better because you're in it.

Here are a few pics from the birthday celebration we had earlier in the week with family at Nana's pool.

The birthday boy

Kevin's favorite - chocolate banana cake (I'll post the recipe tomorrow)

hair woes

2011-06-09T16:22:00.001-04:00

As predicted, the baby bangs have arrived. This picture doesn't do them justice. You really have to see them in person. Apparently they're replacing all of the hair that I shed after Owen was born. I had them with Anna too. See all of those short hairs around my face? When I actually blow dry, they stick straight out. When I let my hair air dry (which is most of the time, because let's be honest, when do I have the time to actually dry and straighten my hair?) they curl up in a not so cute way. Did it look like I had a receding hairline before the baby bangs started sprouting? I guess.
To make matters worse, my favorite brand of mousse decided they were going to go with a new formula - which I hate, so now my hair is even more out of control. Last, but certainly not least - I have gray hairs sprouting up left and right. I blame Anna ;) You might be able to spot one in this pick. Oi. Oh well, there are certainly worse things in life than having an unmanageable mane. Praise God that I have a head full of hair and a baby that produced these bangs :)

Happy Birthday, Lauren!

2011-06-08T08:28:00.000-04:00

I don't see Lauren nearly enough, but I just love her. This photo was taken back when we were YL co's at Lebanon. Pretty sure this t-shirt is via 2006. I may have worn it yesterday..... and the day before that ;) Happy Birthday, friend! Hope you feel loved and celebrated today. So glad you were born and that God brought you into my life.

full crib

2011-06-04T16:09:00.001-04:00

We didn't put a bumper in Anna's crib and we didn't allow blankets or stuffed animals until after her first birthday. It just didn't seem worth the risk to us and she didn't seem to mind. Looks like she's making up for lost time.....

Like any addiction, it started small. A stuffed animal or two here and there. An extra blanket every few days. Then, she added foam letters. The girl is so OCD that she has to have those same letters every time she goes down. She does roll call. "cup? letter W? letter O? Bears? baby? horsie? buffalo? duckie? mooooose?..." The list goes on. If she thinks one is missing she'll call out from her room until one of us comes back to find it. Oh, and she has to have her feet covered with a blanket when we tuck her in.

I've tried taking them out, but she gets so upset that it hardly seems worth the battle. I think that removing them would cause her to sleep less than having them in there because she'd be so angry. At last count there were SIXTEEN stuffed animals, three blankets, two cups, and 5 foam letters. You can see that there barely seems to be room for her, but I guess that's how she likes it :)

listening and speaking: words matter

2011-06-01T21:57:00.001-04:00

With all the talking I do, I'm bound to say something stupid. I've learned a lot about choosing my words wisely and editing, but I'm still human. When I'm uncomfortable, I talk. Word vomit. I just can't stop. There are times when I hear the voice in my head saying, "stop talking!" but I just keep going. Usually, all of this word vomit is harmless, but sometimes I say something that I shouldn't have. I've learned that the hard way. There are also times that I say things under the guise of joking. But we all know that there's usually a little bit of our true feeling there. Here's what the author of James had to say about the power of our words.

James 3:5-8 (NIV)

³If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. ⁴Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. ⁵So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! ⁶And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members,staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. ⁷For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, ⁸but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison

Sheesh. That's intense. In short - words are powerful and they matter. I love the imagery of words as a small flame that can set a whole forest ablaze. It's so true! You may think you're saying something harmless, but how many times have your words started a fire. The worst part is that it's not just verbal anymore, we put it all out there on the internet. When we say something poisonous it can quickly be read by hundreds of people via twitter, facebook, blogs, etc. There's no context and no take-backs. Once it's out there and someone reads it, you can't strike it from the record (even if you do go back and delete it!) For this reason, we have to be even more diligent in bridling the tongue. We must choose wisely even if we think we're posting in jest. Scripture is clear on this.

Ephesians 4:29 - Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to the hearer.

2 Timothy 2:16 - Avoid irreverent babble for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness and their talk will spread like gangrene.

Our words can bring life to people and they can bring death. They can bring the aroma of Christ or pierce with venom. I have to constantly remind myself that my words aren't empty. They carry weight and should point to Jesus. I may not have even meant to say something hurtful or that betrayed another's trust, but when I realize that I have I must be able to acknowledge my sin in it and repent to the person I was talking to and talking about. Now, those are words that really matter.

listening and speaking: pride revealed

2011-05-31T09:54:00.000-04:00

A while back I was crocheting something. I wasn't sure about a color combination and I asked Kevin what he thought. He gave me his opinion and after a minutia of hesitation I decided to go with the opposite of what he said. You see, my mind was already made up when I asked him. This is kind of a silly example, but I'm realizing that it's something I do more than I'd like to admit.

I ask for advice, but I don't really want it. I already have an answer in my head. I usually just want to be affirmed in the decision that I've already made. I do it a LOT with questions about parenting. If you have a similar opinion, I feel good about myself. If you disagree, I'll just disregard what you had to say and do what I want. It's just another way that pride reveals itself in my life. I like to think I'm teachable. The reality is that I'm teachable on my own terms and my own schedule. I'm very slow to change. It's hard for me to shift gears and change my way of thinking.

Here's another thing I've noticed about myself - I interrupt people all the time. I used to think I was a pretty good listener. Not so much anymore. When people are talking to me I often interject with my own thoughts and experiences. [Oh hello, Pride, it's been about 5 seconds since I last saw you] Being a good listener requires humility. Intentionally refraining from interrupting acknowledges that others might have something more important than you to say. When I constantly interrupt people, I'm essentially saying that what I have to talk about is more important. Or I think that I have some great wisdom to impart to them that simply can't wait. A good deal of the time, people don't want answers, they simply want to be heard. If people want advice, they will generally ask for it. Don't assume they want you to fix them. If you're not sure what they want - ask!

Just a couple things I've been pondering as I do some self-reflection. I won't be offended if you ask what my true intentions are when I come to you for advice and you're free to tell me to put a sock in it the next time I interrupt you!

listening and speaking: the overflow of the heart

2011-05-29T23:16:00.003-04:00

photo credit

I talk to a lot of people. One of the ways that I pursue intentional community with people is to set up regular times to hang out. Some are dear friends that hold me accountable, some are other moms, some are girls I disciple, and others are new relationships. Setting up regular time with others provides a rhythm to my weeks, keeps me sane, and feeds my soul. I've been thinking a lot about the power of our words and the power of listening. For your sake, I've decided to split my thoughts over a few posts. Here goes.

There's a time and place for small talk, but I need people that can push past it and get real. Luke 6:45 says, "from the overflow(abundance) of the heart, the mouth speaks." When I'm not getting time with Jesus, I can spend hours talking about my kids. Now, the majority of my day is filled with my kids, so it's fair that I tend to talk about them a lot. That's my day. What's not okay, is for my whole identity to be wrapped up in them. I know when I'm feeling spiritually empty because I avoid talking about Jesus. He is not the overflow of my heart.

Last week, my friend Lauren came over for some much needed catch up. She's known me for a long time and she knows the things that I struggle with. We talked for a while, then she pointedly asked me something along the lines of, "So how are you doing with finding your identity in Jesus and not just in being a mom?" Straight to the heart. Thank you.

I gave her a short answer about how I felt like it was getting better and that I wasn't plagued with so much guilt anymore about the things I wasn't doing. True, but not exactly the answer. I've still been thinking about that question and I'm so glad that she asked. My intention for this blog was to reflect on the things I'm learning and to share my life with people. In looking over my posts for the past two months you can see that there's a lot about my family and very little reflection about Jesus and how He is moving in my life. Part of that is that it's just hard to find time to sit down and compose a well-thought out post. The bigger culprit, however, is what's going on in my heart.

I pray that I will make time to really soak up Jesus. My desire is for Him to be the overflow of my heart. I pray that I will be so full that it would be impossible for me not to sing His praises. I'm thankful for the people in my life that get right to the heart. If I'm not talking about Jesus, what am I talking about?